Liver and Onion Logic

The Power of Small Steps

2012-02-13T14:45:00.000-08:00

As I've said a million times, I LOVE TED talks. The idea of bringing inspiring, intelligent and interesting people together once a year is so simple, but so important. Not only that, but all the talks are available online for free! But, on to the point. Here's a TED video for you on the importance of making small changes while still keeping sight of your larger goals.

Lofty goals are important because they keep us going. They keep us trying and reaching. But small ones are equally as important. Once you achieve a small goal, the bigger ones seem more attainable, and we prove to ourselves that we can do it.
What can you change for 30 days?

Unfinished Business: Untitled

2012-02-07T13:10:00.000-08:00

Here comes an embarrassing confession: I read the shopaholic book series. Not all of them, but most of them. I can't help myself, sometimes I like to read simple, easy, outlandish and purely female comedies. The fairer sex is know for their questionable taste in literature from time to time. Twilight? Daniele Steele? Sweet Valley High? Ladies, ladies, ladies. What are we thinking? As I said, these books aren't necessarily feats of literary wonder and I kind of like that. So much so that I figured I could write one myself. A simple story about a crazy lady doing crazy things only to realize that maybe there is more wrong with herself than she cares to acknowledge because she's too busy being crazy.

*******

I should have known, really. That’s what everyone says and they are all right. We all should have known that the charming man who swept us off our feet would end up turning into a fat slob. Because, of course, as pony boy once said, “Nothing gold can stay.” This apparently, goes for anything stylish, anything cultural, intelligent, and beautiful. Hell, even anything kind of cute in a disturbing frat boy kind of way. Once the vows are vowed and the rings are ….. ringed, everything “gold” seems to magically disappear. And we still gotta love these fat fuckers, or so they say. But “they” aren’t living with the blobs that used to be their sexy boyfriends. No, “they” are either single, or have become equally as tarnished as their significant other. That’s nice for them. Be slovenly and in love! Righteous! I, however, did not sign up for this, and something has got to give and it better not be the couch. Starting right now, I am on a mission. I am going to do everything in my power to get back the stud I agreed to marry before I have to come up with an excuse for hiring a pool boy. As if that wouldn’t send the cheater alarm going!

Day 1

The alarm is blaring in my ear. Its rhythmic beep beep beeping is muted by the gregarious snoring coming from the man beside me. Each breath rattles through his nose and against his throat making it sound as if there is a lot of extra skin in there flapping around. Did he snore like this when we started dating? I try to think back to our beginnings seven years ago, but it’s early and it’s loud in this king bed. I can’t think of whether I had been sleeping with an ogre all along, but that’s neither here nor there because I am definitely lying next to one right now.

“Baby, I think it’s time to get up.” I whisper, poking him gently with my toes. He snorts, but doesn’t move. “Jess, get up.” I move closer and give him a little shove. He groans. That’s it. I scramble to my knees and begin shaking him like a dirty rug, “for the love of god, Jesse Raymond! Wake up!” I yell. One arm slides from beneath the covers and grabs me by the waist.

“Beautiful girl, relax and lie here with me for a minute.” He responds, tucking me against his chest. The hairs on his chest tickle my skin as his belly presses against mine. I don’t remember it being so big, or this hairy. When did this fuzzy bear like creature crawl into bed with me replacing my husband? If I could only get him out of bed, then I’ll be able to start the transformation, but he wants to spoon instead.

“Ok, it’s been at least a minute,” I say wriggling from his arms, “time to start the day. How about I make us some breakfast?”

“Mmmm, bacon and eggs would be great.”

I’m not making bacon and eggs. Clearly all that bacon has gone straight to his gut. “Yea, something like that. See you in a few.” I give his arm a quick squeeze before jumping out of bed. I’m not sure what we have in the kitchen but there has got to be something healthier than bacon. I bet there is some fruit somewhere. I could make a smoothie!

The cold air falls from the open refrigerator and blows against my toes as I scan the shelves. Not much in here. A few apples, those will do. Perhaps some milk too. So an apple smoothie doesn’t seem that appetizing, I should check the pantry. Ah ha! A can of peaches. That should be alright, a peach apple smoothie. With a little hop in my step I pull the blender out, and a cloud of dust along with it. Some wedding gifts never get used, this happened to be one of them. With a quick wipe, I am ready to whip up my dear hubbie’s first life changing breakfast.

The blender whirs to life in a flurry of health induced fervour. First the can of peaches. In an instant they are nothing more than mush fit for those lacking teeth. Next goes in the apple. The white and red swirls against the orangey peach mush. Now the mix looks like old person skin, gray and kind of icky. Who said healthy was appetizing anyway! Last, a splash of milk for that added calcium kick. Beautiful!

“Since when does bacon and eggs involve a blender?” Jesse quips from the doorway.

“Oh, I’m trying something different. “ I mumble, jamming the “high” button on the blender to drown out anymore questions.

“It looks like you’re making paper Mache” he’s giving me those eyes. It’s the same look he gives me when he thinks I’m wrong about something. What does he know about being healthy?

“It will taste better then it looks,” I offer attempting to place some sort of conviction behind the statement.

Those eye just keep staring. He’s not convinced. “I appreciate the effort, buuuuuut, I think I’ll just make myself some cereal or something.”

“Ohhhh, sorry love, but I used the last of the milk for the smoothies.” I lie hoping he won’t pick up the half full carton sitting next to the blender.

“Toast then.” He’s eyeing the smoothy as if it might come to life and devour him.

“Please just try it.” I lean over the counter hoping he’ll be swayed to give in after he catches a glimpse of my goods. If I’ve learned anything from being married it’s that boobs are often the best bartering tool.

He raises his eyebrows slowly and smirks, “Fine, I’ll try it, but don’t think I’m doing it because you flashed me a peak at those.” He makes a circling motion in the air around my chest.

Fuck, he’s on to me! I turn around quickly to search for a glass so he won’t see my face turning red.

As I start to tilt to the pitcher I can see that the mix of fruit doesn’t want to budge. I give it a little shake to loosen it up The eyes are growing more and more doubtful across the room and honestly, so am I. Not only does it look like cement, but it is about as solid as it. Another useless shake I and I’m forced to grab a spoon.

“Are you sure about this?” Jesse untwists the bread bag and begins reaching for a piece.

“Wait! Just wait! Please!” That man doesn’t need any more crabs! I must get this health concoction out of this Satan possessed, evil, useless blender. No sooner did the curse leave my mouth when plop a chunk of smoothie lands in the glass. “ Here you go lover!”

“Aren’t you going to have one too?” I can see his eyes twinkling mischievously. Of course, if he has to suffer I do too.

“Absolutely!” I mimic cheerfulness and hope my enthusiasm will give him some sort of psychic boost and that he won’t vomit upon first sip.

Chunks of unblended fruit tumble from the pitcher and splash the hideous gray mixture all over the counter. I would rather eat draino and given the texture of my experiment, this will probably do the same thing to my guts.

Jesse raises his glass to his lips, but stops just before. “This is your gourmet breakfast. You must try it first! I don’t want to ruin the purity of the moment for you.”

The man can barely hold himself together long enough to get those words out. He’s mocking me! He has no faith in my abilities! “Don’t mind if I do!” No matter how awful this is I must not let it show. Mr. Raymond thinks he’s so clever and more importantly he thinks I’m wrong!

I open my mouth and pour the semi liquid down my throat. It creeps out of the glass so painfully slow that I doubt any will reach my lips so I give the bottom of the glass a couple taps. Of course the whole wad shoots out at once, into my mouth, down my chest and all over my face. As soon as the first atom hits my tongue I can’t control my body. My face begins to pucker and contort in disgust. My gag reflex kicks in hard and I begin coughing the shit back up. Except it’s just like cement and it get’s stuck in my throat. I keel over the sink and begin hacking.

Over the sound of my own asphyxiation I can here Jesse chuckling, “Yea. I thought so.”

“I’m…….. going to …… choke …… to……. Death!” I wheeze in between waves of retching and hacking.

“Aw beautiful, you’ll be fine. Stick your head under the tap and have a drink of water.”

He’s still chuckling to himself when I finally manage to compose myself. It feels as if I’ve just finished severe boot camp I’m sweating so hard! This was a bad idea. Why did I ever think an apple smoothie would be delicious? Have you ever been to the local juice bar and ordered an apple fucking smoothie? No! Why? Because they’re disgusting!

“This was a stupid idea,” I mumble as I toss both glasses and the pitcher into the sink.

“What was that?” Jesse turns as I clatter the dishes in frustration. “Toast?” He waves a crispy piece of bread in the air to entice me.

“No. I don’t have time for toast. I need to get ready for work.” After ingesting a cupful of what I can only describe as sludge, I can’t imagine eating anything else. That, and I feel foolish for my vigorous attempt at instant healthiness. Cleary this is something that will take more planning. Shoulders slumped I head back upstairs.

“Nice ass!” Jesse calls as I climb the stairs. My cheeks begin to flush, even to this day that little perv can still make me blush.

There has got to be a better way to go about this. I step out of the shower feeling a little deflated. I do love that man, but I could stand to love a little less of him! Hey, I could even love him more I bet; more for less! That’s just grand! Feeling smug and pretty happy with myself I drop my towel and use it to wipe the steam off the mirror. A circle of skin begins to appear before me and the more I wipe, the more skin I see fill the circle! It’s as if my reflection is taking over half of the mirror! Wait a second! Just one single second! Since when did my body take up so much of the mirror!

Maybe it’s a bad angle. I turn a few degrees and am satisfied with what I see. Then I exhale. Shoot! There it is again! That mirror encroaching skin coloroed blob is back. The more I turn the worse it seems to get! Maybe Jesse isn’t the only one who needs this health kick.

Someone’s ears must have been burning because I hear a quick tap at the door, followed by the metallic clacking of the door handle being shook. “Are you just about done in there?”

“Just a second

Unfinished Business: Evil Twin Version 2

2012-01-30T10:26:00.000-08:00

I got a little bit further on this one. Progress! Or something like that.

*******

E, or Evil Maynard Chase knew this waiting room better than his own bedroom. Or at least it felt that way. The boy was always here for constant performance reviews, which wasn't entirely abnormal. However, there was never any performance to review and that itself was the abnormal part and the sole reason for his frequent visits to this god-forsaken place.

"Mr. Chase." The secretary called not bothering to look up past the computer monitor.

He didn't respond. Not because he hadn't heard his name called, but because he wondered how many times she would aimlessly call for him before she actually acknowledged his presence. This was something he did on a regular basis. If he was going to be here as often as he was, he expected at least some sort of rapport. The record was seven.

"Mr. Chase. Maynard." The woman called again.

Still he waited, staring directly at the woman's stringy, thinning, muddy brown hair.

"E. Maynard Chase." She called again. Her voice never changed with each recital of his name. It seemed as though she could call on him forever like pre generated vocal loop. "Mr. Chase. Mr. Chase. Mr. Chase."

Maynard sighed. Perhaps she would respond to that.

She did. Peering over the top of the monitor she smiled quickly, "Mr. Chase, Dr. Gilbert is ready for you. I trust you haven't forgotten which office is his." Her eyes dropped away from his.

"Nope." Maynard mumbled as he raised his hand to give the secretary a thumbs up. Noticing that she had stopped looking, he lowered his hand awkwardly as if it had raised itself and he was now just noticing it. He moved from the plastic chair and out of the waiting room. As he passed the secretary's desk he tried to see what was so interesting to her. He moved his eyes as far left as they would go without moving his neck, but couldn't see a thing. Peripheral vision was for athletes and army men. E. Maynard was neither, perhaps due to his peripheral failings. He sighed again. Secretary's interests were to remain a mystery for just a little longer.

Dr. Gilbert was reclined in his leather office chair as Maynard entered. The robust man had his hands folded over his belly, his eyes were closed and his nostrils were expanding and contracting rhythmically. Maynard may have mistook the posture for an afternoon nap had he not walked into this exact scene numerous times before.

"Mr. Chase, when will you be moving your stuff in?" Dr. Gilbert leaned back further until his torso was nearly parallel with his desk.

"Very funny sir." Maynard dropped his bag next to the chair facing the doctor.

Dr. Gilbert began his ascent to an appropriate seated position very slowly. His hands did not move from their assigned place atop mount belly fat and his strangely large nostrils kept their metric rhythm. It wasn't until he was full upright did he move his hands, placing them atop the desk.

"Well Mr. Chase. Please tell me you have something to report."

Maynard struggled to remove a folded piece of paper from the breast pocket of his shirt. His fingers rattled together as he opened the page. The paper whispered as it shook between his hands. He cleared his throat and lowered his head to begin reading.

"I have a couple ideas. Last week didn't go so well. I really tried, but you know, none of it worked. I tried to use some of the stuff you mentioned but it didn't work." Maynard watched Dr. Gilbert nod slowly.

"What's the plan then?" he inquired, pointing at the rattling paper.

"I could take all his mail so that the bills don't get paid and his utilities get cut off, or I could hide his keys so he's late for work, or I was thinking I could ---"

"Maynard, these things, have you not done them before? Those ideas are not the sort of things Evil Twins do, or at least not this late in the game. Your twin is nearly 25 years old! Shouldn't you have hid his keys when he was 16?" Dr. Gilbert wasn't seriously asking. He knew the answers well. Of course Evil Maynard Chase had hid his twin's keys and of course he had tried to prevent the bills from being paid, but that was years ago and the truth was E. Maynard Chase was out of ideas and had been for a very long time not because he didn't have any ideas. Rather, the things he had been trying lately had little to no effect on his "good" counterpart.

"I know, I know. But you don't understand! Nothing is working! I'm trying, but this guy is is.... not a good guy!" Maynard folded the paper and shoved it back into his pocket.

"It sounds like you're making excuses. Out of all the Evil Twins, no one else seems to be having a problem following through with their plans."

"It isn't fair to compare my twin with all the others. Isn't there even a slight chance that I somehow managed to be assigned an exceptionally difficult twin?" Maynard leaned towards the doctor. He was pulling at threads, hoping he could convince the man that it wasn't his fault.

"Of course not Mr. Chase. Each twin comes from one whole, the split is always even with equal parts evil and equal parts good. This you know." Dr. Gilbert raised his eyebrows and lowered his head, unimpressed.

It was true, Maynard knew how twins came about, but he couldn't help but feel as if there had been some sort of mix up. As the evil twin, it was his job to throw curveballs in the life of his other half without harming him or being caught. Evil twins were not so much evil as they were terrible nuisances. It was their job to make sure the lives of their good twins were enriched through unexpected curveballs and proverbial peg knockings. Ever found a stain in your favorite t-shirt and have no idea where it came from? Thank your evil. Have you ever written an exam and was certain you passed it only to find you got more wrong than you had anticipated? Study harder, it wasn't your evil. However, that time someone put a dent in your car door while you were out shopping, that was definitely your evil. Sneaky bugger! However, Maynard's twin was an exception. Good Maynard Chase or alternately, G. Maynard was in a perpetual state of shambles and no task effected him in the slightest.

"But sir, G. Maynard is impossible to dupe! His keys are ALWAYS lost, his clothing is torn and tattered and full of unidentifiable stains, and.... Well basically he is a mess already and I don't think he even notices when I do anything!" Maynard threw his hands above his head.

"I want to sympathize with you Mr. Chase. I really do, but the truth is, we are getting a little frustrated with seeing you in here on such a regular basis. This is becoming a problem." Dr. Gilbert rocked back in his chair as he spoke, "The board has decided to give you one month to shape up and make some progress."

"What am I supposed to do?!" Maynard couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"This is a very rare case indeed. Only a handful of evil twins have been stripped of their titles due to unacceptable performances."

"What if I don't improve? Dr. Gilbert, this is nuts! Don't you see, G. Maynard is impossible to work with!" he was panicking, he knew that twins revoked of their title disappeared, never to be heard of again, or at least that's the rumor. He never knew anyone personally who hadn't stacked up to the Evil Twin title!

"Nothing is impossible young man. For the next month, assuming you follow all the rules, you will not be called in for performances reviews. Basically you will be free of my counsel and will use that time to pull yourself together. One month Mr. Chase." The rotund doctor became very serious, "think of this as your last opportunity to prove to myself and the Evil board that you are not a disgrace to your Evil title."

Maynard stared at the doctor. He could not believe that he was being served his final thread.

"What you're saying is that I have only 30 days? I've spent a lifetime trying everything and now it's come down to four weeks to determine the rest of MY life! I'm so screwed" Maynard slid low in the chair and dropped his head against his chest. Never had he expected his performance evaluation to result in this.

"Don't think of it as a sentencing. Think of it as a golden opportunity to show us all what you're made of. I know that you are capable of great things. It might be a good idea to consult some of the other well known evils, they may prove to be very useful" Dr. Gilbert glanced at his watch. With great effort he rose from his chair and moved around the wide desk to give Maynard a brisk pat on the back. "Best of luck Mr. Chase. Please call if you need anything. Otherwise, I will see you in a few weeks."

Maynard shrugged of the obligatory back pat and picked up his bag. He lumbered towards to the door but stopped halfway, feeling ashamed he hadn't shook the doctor's hand. It was not Dr. Filberts fault and he still deserved to be treated with respect.

"Thank you sir. I will try." Maynard squeezed a little harder than he normally would out of frustration and to assert some sense of power, false or otherwise.

"Goodbye Mr. Chase." Dr. Gilbert returned to his chair and began his torso led decent, hands clasped hovering over his belly button. The nostrils followed suite with their easy opening and closing.

As he passed the secretary's desk, Maynard attempted once again to catch a glimpse of what she was always looking at. Maybe, up on that screen, was the secret to being the most successful evil twin ever known. He imagined that if he could just see what she was seeing then all his problems would be solved, that she had the answer and was hiding it from the rest of the world. However, the glare from the halogen lights bounced off the screen making it impossible to read and he passed again with no knowledge gained.

"Goodbye Mr. Chase. Have an excellent afternoon," the secretary kept her beady eyes glued to the screen.

"Goodbye.... ma'am." Maynard mumbled the last part. He had never bothered to learn her name; she was just a strange facet of the office. She was as familiar as the chair he always sat on and the ink stain on the carpet, neither had names. The secretary, whatever her name was, had become a part of the scenery. He shot a look over his shoulder to see if she was watching him leave. Of course she wasn't, maybe he was an equal part of the mundane to her. He made a mental note to learn the secretary's name next time he came in, after all she knew his.

No sooner had he stepped onto the street did his phone start ringing in Maynard's pocket. The distinctive ring was the tone he had assigned to his mother and the sound of it made him cringe. For a moment his thumb hovered over the "ignore" button knowing that if he hit it she would just call and call and call until he eventually picked up. Everything was urgent to her; she found a new recipe that she just had to tell him about rightnow! The cat ate a bumblebee and she had to tell him rightnow! Everything was rightnow!

"Hi mother." Maynard answered trying to hide his annoyance.

"Hello mayny dear!"

A normal person would ask how the caller was doing, but Maynard knew his mom better than that, she wasn't done talking yet.

"I just wanted to tell you that I ran into your friend Gaven Hutson. I was at the grocery store, putting away all my bags when he came over to say hi. He told me he just got a position on the ET counsel, he's an intern! How exciting is that?"

It wasn't exciting. Gaven was not what he would call a friend. They had lived across the hall from each other during Evil College, but that is as far as their relationship went.

"Good for him." Maynard responded half-heartedly.

"Absolutely! Very exciting. Maybe he can help you with your twin problem."

"What twin problem?" he hadn't told his mother that he had been seeing Dr. Gilbert so often, and certainly hadn't told her that his evilness was lacking.

"Didn't I tell you I ran into Troy at the post office the other day?"

Troy was Maynard's roommate, but he hadn't mentioned running into his mother.

"No you didn't. What did he tell you exactly?" He could only imagine what troy had told her.

"He just mentioned that you had been seeing a lot of Dr. Gilbert lately. You know there is nothing wrong with hitting a little bump in the road."

OF course Troy told her about his all too common meetings with Dr. Gilbert. He loved his mother. That was a given, but he did not love her need to talk to everyone about anything. She was such a sweet lady. The kind of mother everyone wished they had, save for her own children.

"Yea. It's okay mom, really. Everything is fine. It's just.... fine."

"Mayny. I'm your mother you know."

"Really? Are you the lady who gave birth to me?" Maynard quipped.

"You're beginning to make me wish I wasn't with that attitude."

"I just don't want you to worry about anything. Dr. Gilbert just wants to touch base and make sure everything is going well."

He could hear his mother sigh on the other end. Telling a mom not to worry about her child is like telling a bird not to fly.

"I'll always worry Maynard." her voice softened, her words full of love and honesty.

"Of course you will mother dear. That is your full time job. Just know that if anything was wrong, I would tell any number of acquaintances and they would be sure to tell you." He joked.

"You're so funny kid. Ok, Mayny I just wanted to make sure you were alright, because I love you."

"Thanks Mother. I love you too." he waited a second before hanging up. Good-byes with his mom were never quick.

"Oh, before you hang up. Will you be coming to dinner on Sunday?"

"What are you cooking?"

"I don't know! It's only Tuesday, I'll know on Sunday. Are you going to be there or not?" his mother replied quickly.

"Maybe you could cook lasagna?"

"I don't know Maynard. Show up on Sunday and you'll eat what is made."

Maynard laughed, "Of course I'll be there. I value my life too much not to show up."

"Oh geez, Maynard!" she scoffed.

"See you on Sunday, Mom." He hoped this was the end of the conversation. The phone was becoming hot against his cheek and he just wanted to finish his walk home in silence.

"Bye, bye. Love you."

He waited for the click on the other end and grumbled silently when it didn't come right away.

"Are you going to say I love you?" she inquired.

"Mom, I just said it!"

"Well?"

"I love you too."

"You better." Click.

With a quick tap, Maynard turned his phone to silent and shoved it back in his pocket. His home wasn’t far from the Career Center, but he felt like the short walk would somehow provide him with the epiphany he desperately needed. It was times like these he wished trees and bushes and clouds and any other inanimate object would talk, maybe they would have some knowledge.

“What do you say squirrel,” he frowned at the rodent as it ran across his path, “any great ideas in that tiny brain of yours or are you consumed by images of acorns and walnuts?”

Of course the squirrel didn’t have the answers, all it had was an evolutionary drive to do what squirrels do. Maynard envied the animal kingdom for that reason. Most creatures do what they do because it is what their instincts push them to do. Humans are burdened with autonomous thought. Being evil was as much a part of his genes as his hair color, but his evil ways were not borne of instinct like the squirrels burying rituals. The genes coded for evil, but the brain had to produce the thoughts to produce the actions to get his job done and right now Maynard cursed all that gray matter for failing him all this time.

The Evil College came into view as he rounded the corner towards his apartment. Living right across from the institution had been beneficial when he was a student there, but now more than ever he wished he had moved. That place represented promise at one time and the students bustling through the doors out front were still quivering with the notion of hope. Maynard scoffed, what did they know of hope?

“You’re better off without that place!” he cried at the slate gray walls. The bitter words weren’t loud enough for the students to hear, but just letting them out brought Maynard a bit of relief from the frustration he was dealing with. With a final insulting fist shake he marched on and up the steps of his building. Inside the lobby he gave his arms a little shake and hoped Troy was out. He pulled his shoulders back and mocked confidence just in case his roommate was home.

The lights were all out when he entered, which wasn’t a solid indicator of whether the place was vacant or not.

“Troy?” Maynard called down the hall as he slipped his shoes off. When there wasn’t a response he called again a little louder, “Troy? Are you here?”

Still nothing.

Some days Maynard wondered why he bothered at all. Most of the time Troy was locked in his room, headphones on, bobbing his head to some unheard rhythm as he worked on his latest project. Mostly it was some painting that was going to “revolutionize modern art”, but every now and then after failing to produce any from of sellable art, Troy immerse himself in completely different medium that would certainly be a better bet. Last time Maynard ventured into Troy’s room he was almost knocked out by spray paint fumes. In his obsessed mania Troy forgot to open the windows and Maynard had found him in a fume induced stupor.

As he reached for Troy’s door, he hoped that today wasn’t one of the more manic days. He knocked quickly, sucked in a breath, held it and hoped for the best.

“Come in.” Troy’s voice was muffled behind the door.

Inside the room Troy was hunched over his desk, marker tucked behind one ear, and a straw behind the other. One hand lay atop the desk and was gripping a purple marker while the other vibrated furiously back and forth, erasing something. Troy’s curly, black hair shimmied around with each fast stroke of the eraser.

“Mayn, I sure hope that’s you standing in my doorway.” Troy didn’t look up.

“And what if it wasn’t?” Maynard replied.

“How was the good doc?” he ignored the question and stopped working.

“Fine.”

It was only then that Troy turned. An expression of amused doubt was plastered on his face. “That’s a load of shit. I tried calling and you didn’t pick up. You never pick up when you’re having a shit day.”

Maynard dug his phone from his pocket and flicked through the missed calls; Troy, Troy, Troy.

“So how was it really?” Troy prodded.

“What are you working on?” He attempted a weak diversion.

Surprisingly it worked.

“This,” Troy smiled as he tapped the doodle covered page in front of him, “is going to change the face of modern art.”

“Do go on,” Maynard rolled his eyes, here he goes again.

“I’m just kidding. This is actually just a stupid comic strip.”

Unfinished Business: Evil Twin Version 1

2012-01-26T08:45:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a day where you misplaced your keys, wallet, cell phone, mind, and swore you left it the first place you looked? Has an important letter ever been lost in the mail? Has the power ever gone out or your computer crashed right in the middle of an important task that you're two keystrokes away form finishing only to find you lost it all? Life is full of little annoyances.
What if there was a specific reason for them?
What if you had an evil twin who was responsible for all those things?

That's what this one is about. The life of an evil twin who is really terrible at it. I actually began two different versions of the story.

Here is the first

**********

To say that E. Mary Parker sucked at her job would be the understatement of the year. A blind goat could have had more success than her. A deaf bat would certainly do a much better job than she. Mary needed help. A lot of it. So after many failures her boss had had enough and sent her off to the best career councilor in town as a desperate attempt to get his employee on the right track to success. He was doubtful. Mary, on the other hand, was excited. She was ready to prove that with a little extra help she would be able to do her job right, and even do it well!

“Miss E. Parker?” the secretary called.

“Yes. Me! That is me!” Mary responded, jumping up from her chair. As she jumped, her purse tumbled off her lap and crashed to the floor allowing the contents to escape. “Oh shoot. Just a second!” Trying not to blush Mary frantically scooped her belongings back into her bag. On hands and knees she scuttled across the waiting room floor chasing after a tube of lipstick that was determined to get away.

“Do you need a hand?” the secretary leaned across her desk to see Mary crawling away.

“No, no. It’s fine.” She brushed her off as she grabbed the rogue lipstick,” I’ve got it.”

“If you’ll just follow me, I’ll take you to Mr. Kuebreck’s office.” The secretary waited for Mary to gather her things. Mary flashed the patient woman a quick smile as she shoved things into her purse. There was more in that sack than Mary remembered having in there and she made a mental note to start carrying just a wallet again; less stuff to worry about carpeting a floor with.

“Alright, I think that’s everything.” Mary smiled widely, “Take me away!”

A normal person would be nervous, but Mary was too filled with excitement and anticipation to be nervous. Her heart stopped as she passed each door; maybe this was the door to her future! Maybe this one was! The secretary seemed to walk past thirty doors in as many seconds, that lady was quick. Mary kept a grin plastered to her face so she would make the best impression possible.

“Here you are Miss Parker.” The woman turned the handle of the door to her right and held it open for Mary to pass through, “Good luck.” She didn’t mean it. Not that Mary thought she needed it, but she figured if someone was going to wish for luck, they had better mean it!

“Thank you Ma’am.” The secretary’s eyebrows crept towards her nose as she gave Mary a look of sheer confusion. The woman was not much older than Mary herself and was apparently confused by being referred to as a “Ma’am”. She shook her head quickly as Mary moved into the office.

Mr. Kuebreck was a tall man; even sitting Mary could see he was at least a head taller than her.

“Miss Parker, it is nice to see you.” He seemed to sprout from behind the desk as he stood. His office chair must not have had legs because he was way taller then she expected.

“Thank you sir.” Mary pulled her shoulders back and tilted her head towards the roof in an attempt to lengthen her spine. She wanted to look taller and confident, but she ended up looking like a terrible imitation of a giraffe.

They both slid their hands forward to give an obligatory handshake. His fingers were as long as her entire hand and they could almost wrap around Mary’s palm twice. She gave him an extra squeeze before he slid his arm back. Once she had read that whoever gets the last squeeze holds the power.

“You can call me Mary.” She blurted. She didn’t want this meeting to be all stuffy.

“Alright Mary. I’m Mr. Kuebreck. I’m glad to see you here at the career counseling center, and I hope that I will be able to get you back on track to being the best evil twin you can be.”

Unfinished Business: Little Love

2012-01-24T11:43:00.000-08:00

Back in the fall I did some writing for a short story contest. This piece was one I started working on, but stopped because it was already too long and I hadn't even got into the story. It was set to be a story of navigating the unexpected and learning to love something the character never wanted. That sounds really lame when I put it like that. Here it is, the first unfinished business entry.

I had a baby. Have. I have a baby. I didn’t birth one and then get rid of it or anything, nope, I kept it, begrudgingly. She’s pretty cute when she’s not pooping, peeing, crying, or spitting up, which is about three percent of time. Let me tell you though, I can put up with the ninety-seven percent of suck for that tiny three percent of heart melting, tear inducing, almost unbearable cuteness. The way her tiny hands curl open and close as if she’s milking an invisible goat right before she falls asleep makes me want to punch kittens because they will never be as adorable as that little creature. Don’t worry, I haven’t gone all Mike Tyson on a littler of calicos., but they might as well be baby cockroaches. Lila is only a week old and up until a week ago I never EVER wanted kids. Wait a second, you were still pregnant a week ago! Yes, and I still didn’t want the kid, not even a bit, but life is funny like that, sometimes the one thing you never wanted is exactly what you need.

*****

“Please stop swearing love,” Jacob said for the third time.

“I can’t! If I stop I’ll start crying. This is worse than when my mother died!”

“Kristy!” Jacob snapped.

I didn’t really mean that, but I was getting the impression that Jacob had missed the weight of the situation, “This can’t be happening. It can’t!”

Jacob was so calm I thought for a second he had died from shock. I reached across and placed my fingers against his neck. He recoiled quickly.

“What are you doing!”

“What are YOU doing!? Why aren’t you freaking out?”

He shrugged, “It’s just a baby Kristy. It’s not cancer.”

How could he be so nonchalant? Nothing about his demeanor suggested he was even slightly moved by my revealing that I was pregnant. For days I had been sick with worry over the whole situation and all he can do is shrug as if I had just told him that we missed garbage day again.

I tossed the pregnancy test across the bathroom floor, I didn’t want to hold it, or see it, or even think about it. That was the fifth I had taken in as many days and with each progressive positive I had grown more and more disgusted. I had lived in this body for thirty years. It was my body and I didn’t want some thing taking up space inside it and ruin everything I loved about it.

Jacob picked up the test and placed on the counter, “I want to keep it.”

“That’s gross! I just peed all over that thing!”

“What?” his eyebrows crept towards the center of his forehead, “The baby. I want to keep the baby.” His voice didn’t waiver, he didn’t look away nor smile or even frown. “Maybe you should keep this, put it in the baby book.” He slid the stick across the counter towards me.

I locked my eyes on his, grabbed the test between two fingers and dropped in the trash. Not a muscle in his face moved, if it upset him, it didn’t show. He was so good at hiding his emotions. I wanted to ball my fists and pound them against him, any part of him, just to get a reaction.

“I don’t . Being pregnant doesn’t change my opinion. I don’t want kids,” I got up from the edge of the bath where I had been perched and brushed past him, “never did.”

His hand clasped my wrist and he tugged me towards him, gently, but purposely. “I know, you’ve always been open about that, but maybe this is supposed to mean something. Maybe you…. We … were meant to do this. Be parents. Good parents even.” For a moment I wanted to believe him, but my history of mysterious goldfish deaths suggested my parenting skills were pathetically lacking.

“I don’t even like other people’s babies. They have all those weird rolls and they can’t say anything so they make ridiculous sounds all the time. Parents of children always look so dejected. Some of them even forget how to dress like adults!“

“Everyone likes babies. I’ve seen you crack a smile when my nieces are around”

“I smile because I’m so overjoyed that they aren’t mine and that I don’t have any and that some else does and that their life must REALLY suck!”

Jacob’s eyes closed for a second and he breathed a heavy sigh, “So what do you want to do then, since my opinion doesn’t seem to matter.”

He was hurt, I could tell that much. What could I do? I had three options, keep it, give it up for adoption and another option that was not even a real option. I’m all about pro-choice for others, but for me it was always pro-life, even a life that I didn’t really believe I’d ever have to choose. I looked at Jacob and knew that I really only had one option, his heart would shatter if I told him that I wanted someone else, someone who wanted this, to raise our child. I loved that man more than anything and maybe, just maybe, I could love the life that was going to ruin mine!

“Of course your opinion matters. This is important to you and you are important to me.” I buried my head in my arms and mumbled, “Let’s keep it.”

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you say-“

“We’ll keep it.” I repeated a little louder, through gritted teeth. It felt like the right thing to do, but I still had approximately seven or eight months to change my mind.

Out On a Limb and Unfinished Business

2012-01-22T20:20:00.000-08:00

I'm going to do something a little different. As I've mentioned before, I have a file full of unfinished stories and such. They're likely going to stay unfinished at this rate! I'm also really wary about letting people read said stories.

Now what the hell am I supposed to do with unfinished stories that no one can read? Nothing.

I've come to accept that leaving unfinished business to age on my hard drive will not magically become finished over time. I've also realized that if I want people to want to read my writing, I have to let them read it first. Funny how these things work eh? Which brings me to my new and exciting (I hope you're excited) plan to unleash the half finished mass of works out to the world in hopes that it will inspire me to actually finish something, and to get over my fears. Stay tuned, the first instalment of unfinished business will be coming up shortly!

EEEPPP!

People Never Cease To Inspire

2012-01-06T14:45:00.000-08:00

I get stuck a lot. I don't know why, but often I feel like my brain yanks the hand brake and refuses to let go. I skid to a halt and don't know how to get going again. Stuck and lost. Then I am reminded that things are only as bad as you make them.

Meet Jeff Harris. Meet inspiration.

Yoga and the practice of caution

2012-01-06T10:58:00.000-08:00

Yoga is one of those trendy "exercises" people like to latch onto and turn into something it isn't. Many would argue that's what the infamous Bikram has done by churning out hot yoga studios as an assembly-line cure for all our body's ailments. Bikram's a savvy business man and markets the shit out of his style of hot yoga for profit with little after thought given to his faithful practitioners. Though, he's not the only one making bank from North American's strange obsession with eastern practices, there are plenty of others. This can be dangerous, as The New York Times has pointed out in this informative article.

My impression of the article being that the practice of yoga has been warped and altered to fit into the Western world's framework of exercise, often with harmful results. I can admit that I've brought my ego to many classes and turned it into a self involved competition when I shouldn't have. And I've seen others do the same. It's a slippery slope. Just like power lifting or pointe ballet isn't for everyone, neither is yoga. I'm glad an article like this has surfaced to highlight the risks that can come with inexperienced instructors, over inflated egos and muddled understandings of what yoga should or shouldn't be.

Getting Schooled

2012-01-04T13:20:00.000-08:00

I'm at it again. Back to the books today. Here I come university. Miss me? I know you did!

I'm not prepared at all. I no longer own a backpack. I'm taking a math class, of all things. What was I thinking? This may be the worst idea I've had in quite some time. The last mathematical class I undertook was statistics and I struggled through it. Some of you may even remember the raging stress beast I turned into around exam time for that course. It was rough, to put it mildly. In the end though, I made it out in one tense piece with a decent mark to boot. Miracle.

Thinking about what I'm going to be working with over the next few months gives me nightmares. I have freakish visions of my high school math teachers filling chalkboards full of numbers and equations I can't understand and all laughing and pointing. No joke! That's what math does to me, turns me into a whimpering whelp. I have hope though as I have a lot more focus and drive, now that I've aged just a tad (shhhhhh let's not talk about that number).

Backpack or no, this is happening. Let's pray to the god of integers and algebra that I will survive.

Modest Resolutions

2011-12-29T09:17:00.000-08:00

It's coming to that time where people begin to look into the new year and think of all the ways they'd like to change, often setting goals so lofty and unreachable that they are forgotten before February hits. With a new year we all hope that the fumbles and failings of the one that past will be forgotten and wiped clean. We want to start over. And for many the changing of years is a perfect opportunity to do so.

I've never been too big on resolutions. Changes don't need to wait until the last page of a calendar is flipped. Now has always been as good a time as any. As we roll into 2012 I've decided on two small, but meaningful, goals for the new year.

First: Believe
Easier said than done. In the new year I want to make a more conscious effort to believe in myself and others. Fear can be crippling but unwillingness to try creates the same result. Lack of action. This is the year of action. Simple.

Second: Smile
It's been, well, interesting, to put it blandly, since I graduated university. Lots of shattered expectations, disappointment and frustration. The realization that my life wasn't where I thought it would be was tough to handle and even tougher to accept. I can't change the road I took to get here. I'm here. There is nothing else to it. Might as well enjoy 'here' while I'm living it. This year I'm going to try and worry less about expectations and focus more on moving positively forward. Life is never as bad as it seems, and I'm going to try and embody that in the new year.

That's it. Two modest resolutions and an entire year to work on it. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their holiday and is looking forward to 2012 with hope and excitement.

Christmas as an Adult vs. Christmas as a Kid

2011-12-20T15:38:00.000-08:00

When you're a kid Christmas time is magic. As an adult Christmas time is a different kind of magic. A more booze filled sort of wonderment. Let's run through some difference between celebrating the holidays as kid versus as an adult.

Travel

As children we often went to our grandparent's place for Christmas. With four young kids flying was out of the question. In the middle of winter my parents would stuff us all into the car and set out through the snowy rockies to the rainy coast of B.C. My parents were brave. Not only was there screaming, tantrums, crying, poking and sometimes even puking, there was also snow and ice and flurries. Traveling with kids by car over Christmas is a special kind of Hell.

Dad: Shut your mouths back there before I leave

you on the side of the road SERIOUSLY

While I wouldn't go back to the sardine like trips I took as a child, traveling at Christmas as an adult is not any more enjoyable. Airports are awful on an average day. Toss in hundreds of grumpy, over-packed, over-tired and impatient other travellers into one building and one snaking lineup and the awfulness increases tenfold. When I was a kid if there was another kid crying in the car I could turn around and tell them to shut it, because they were one of my sisters or brother. On a plane, I'm enduring the crying because the last thing I need is black eye for telling some strange child to "Keep it down back there!!!"

Merry Christmas, enjoy it in the longest line EVER!

Christmas Lists

Your Christmas list as a kid is usually filled with shit you know you aren't going to get. My list as a 10 year old? Discman, Computer, Gameboy, Dog and a bunch of other things that my parents probably laughed at, "HA! Kids."

Christmas list as an adult? One word: practical. There were no extravagant items on my list this year, just regular old stuff I need for life. My list at 25? Dishes, gym bag, clothes. Seriously, life gets dull as you age.

Christmas Eve

On the night before Christmas we'd usually have dinner and annoy our parents for a few hours with this mantra, "Can we open a present yet?" Finally they'd give in and we'd all rush to the tree and find our Christmas eve gifts. There was no choice in what present we got, it was always the same. Every year we'd get a new pair of P.Js and movie.

Who loves footie jammies?! I do!

Even now we still get to open a present on Christmas eve. And even now it's still pyjamas and a movie and it's just as exciting. Who says you have to grow up!?

Holy crap! Penguins on my new jammies?!

Winning!

Christmas Morning

Before we went to bed our parents would tell us we could get up at 8. NO EARLIER. Well the sun would rise the next morning and I'd have been up for hours to great it. I'd sneak downstairs to see all the presents and then start knocking on doors to see if anyone else was up. Usually there were at least two of us awake so we'd gang up together to do the clock watch and tick down the minutes until 8. At 7:30 we'd driven ourselves crazy waiting so we'd go sit by the tree and hold our stuffed stockings for a few minutes hoping our mental rays of Christmas excitement would rouse the rest of the family. When that didn't work we'd reluctantly let go of our stockings to wake everyone else, with much grumbling and reluctant compliance. The rest of the morning would be filled with the sound of ripping paper and childish glee.

Bro, santa got me a gun AND a dollhouse.

Why are you still dreaming of him whipping his reindeer?

Get down there!

Once your Christmas list gets to the practical stage, theres is a little less excitement surrounding Christmas morning. Instead of wondering what sweet toy your going to find under the tree, you're busy wondering how many mimosas and coffees with baileys you can squeeze in before breakfast. Any excuse to start drinking before noon! While the morning still involves gifts it's more about spending time with the fam and boozing in your PJs. Amiright?!?

Hold the fruit, I need more room for booze!

Christmas Dinner

First, you're too young to sit with the adults so for a good ten years you're stuck at the kiddie table. Then, when you think you're old enough to sit with the adults they stick with you the "babies" anyway. When you finally make it to the big table you realize that even though you should be acting like an older kid you'd rather be back at the little table where you weren't getting in crap for burping. After dinner you're forced to do the dishes and hope you can weasel your way into drying because all the kids know that washing sucks.

Finally when you grow up and are old enough to appreciate your family for being human beings dinner is a great time. You've already got a solid buzz on so the food is amazing, everyone is laughing and you're drinking even more. After the feast you do the dishes without asking and hate it every bit as you did as a kid, but now you're an adult and you do it because it's expected and the nice thing to do after mom spends all day cooking. Plus, the sooner dinner dishes are out of the way the sooner dessert is coming!

The holidays are pretty awesome as a kid, but the older I get the more I appreciate them. Each year my siblings and I get deeper and deeper into our adult lives and it get's more difficult to connect face to face. Christmas is the one time of year we all get to be together and I couldn't be more grateful for it. So everyone enjoy your family, your kids, your friends and the season!

One Last Neck Crane At 2011

2011-12-15T15:28:00.000-08:00

I can't even begin to put into words how excited I am for the holidays this year. It's the first year that I get to spend Christmas in Victoria, my sisters are coming and I'm just really looking forward to spending time with my family. Especially since it won't be -20 something out all day, every day. This Christmas will be different for sure, but it's still going be just as beautiful and loving as ever.

I am also glad to be putting another year behind me. 2011 was a year of growth and settling. I don't mean settling, as in settling for less, but coming to terms with who I am and where I want to go. I feel like 2011 wrapped me up and held me in place just so I could learn. It was a Sensei, Young Grasshopper, kind of deal. In honour of my year of growth I'd like to talk about some important things I've learned. Little snippets of life advice I've found useful. Maybe you might enjoy them too.

1. Go Easy On Yourself

2010 was a slog and rolling into 2011 I had high hopes. As things often happen, my hopes didn't quite work out the way I planned and I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be. I always had such high standards for myself and expected to be in a much different place then I was. There were plenty of times this year where I felt defeated and stuck. Why hadn't I accomplished the goals I had set out? What was wrong with me? Was I ever going to get anywhere? My inner bully poked and prodded and tortured my fragile, shiny ideals of my own life.
If I spoke to anyone the way I spoke to myself I would certainly be a very unpopular person. Isn't that how it works though? We are far more cruel to ourselves, to the one person we have to live with day in and day out, than we are to anyone else. I don't think it's because we can take the beating, because I know I can't. We allow others flexibility and forgiveness while we give ourselves no such kindness.
I've learned though. This year I learned to be gentle with myself. I can no longer beat myself up about the poor decisions I made and the reasons I'm not where I expected to be. Negativity begets negativity, so I've moved past it.
No, I haven't bought myself a pair of rose coloured glasses and turned into an eternal optimist. I've just realized that I'll get to where I need to be in due time. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and be kind to myself. No more personal brow beating.

How about you, blog readers, can you be a little nicer to yourself?

Evolution and old people

2011-12-08T13:25:00.000-08:00

My good friend Jeff just started blogging and he's posted two blogs about what happens when men and ladis get old.
You can check it out here: http://jeffreyoblog.blogspot.com/

Basically, old men get old man strength and women get old lady wisdom.

I thought it might be good to expand a little on those ideas. I won't argue with the old man strength, because from an evolutionary standpoint (gosh I love evolution don't I?) it serves old men well to get a boost of strength. An increase in physical abilities means they can still dominate their younger competition. The alpha male can continue to be the alpha male because he can out arm wrestle the young bucks. Or whatever it is that old men do to prove they're stronger and tougher than the kids, despite their grey hair and beer bellies. Indian leg wrestling? Noogies? Ripping phone books? Round-house kicking things? Who knows. Men are weird.

Women, on the other hand, don't get any stronger. They just get more frail and fragile and become walking, talking pieces of fine china. That's what happens right? And yes I will agree that they get more wise, but so do men, in a general sense. With age comes experience and with experience a better understanding of the world and the people in it. What old ladies get that old man don't is the answers to any practical household problem ever.

Let's discuss, how many times have you called your mom, or grandma, or aunt to ask about what to use to thicken up a sauce, or the proper way to cook a turkey with stuffing. Not just cooking though, other practical things.

One of the best examples I can think of is when I spilled red wine all over my jacket. I knocked the entire glass onto it and the jacket looked like it was made with burgundy zebra print fabric. I thought for sure it was ruined, but I gave it to my mom anyway to see if she could get it clean. Sure enough it appeared in my room a few days later looking brand new. I don't know how she did it, but had I given it to dad or tried to it myself it likely would have come out pink or something.

You have a stain and don't know how to get it out? Ask a lady. Have a rash and don't know what it is? Mom probably does. Burned rice to the bottom of a pan, call grandma she's got you covered. Sure dad can help you move that dresser, but can he tell you how to buff a scuff out of the floor so you get your damage deposit back? Or how to fix a broken zipper, get gum off your favourite pair of pants, trim your own bangs, plant carrots and can vegetables? Somehow women's brains are suddenly overflowing with facts about life and the solution to everything.

The alpha males can go around thumping their chests all they want, but when it's time for them to save a meal or a pair of pants, no amount of muscle will do.

Music Videos In a Digital Era

2011-12-06T12:55:00.000-08:00

When I was in my early teens, 13, 14, 15, I used to enjoy watching Much Music (Canada's version of MTV). I like watching the countdown and The Punk Show and The Wedge to catch all the latest and greatest music videos. Back then the station still played predominantly music videos. Unlike now where it's mostly crappy movies and television. Needless to say, I don't watch many music videos anymore as I've found that most of them are awful.
Today I came upon one that was completely opposite of awful. It was spectacularly awesome. So for a little nostalgia, it's here for you to enjoy:

Synchronicity and The Re-Education of Kyria Round 2

2011-12-01T10:25:00.000-08:00

I've been out of university for almost 2 years now and while I've enjoyed the change of pace, I've been continuously disappointed with the lack of job prospects and ongoing boredom. It was never my intention to complete one degree and then jump into another, but since I've been out of school I've put a lot of thought into my future career and what I really want to do. When I started my psychology degree I had no clue where I was going or what I wanted to do. I was interested in the subject, but was pretty directionless in terms of the outcome. It wasn't until halfway through my third year at university that I realized the mistake I had made, I had gone to school for the sake of going to school. The years and years of "get and education and you'll get a good job" pressure had got to me and I caved and went to school to "get a good job" when I was finished, because that's what teachers, parents, authority figures and society tell you.

Twenty years ago a general university degree, even just a BA would likely get you a pretty decent career. In today's society where BAs and the like are so common, it just doesn't cut it anymore. No one told me that. I graduated with stars in my eyes expecting the world to open up for me and come forth with armfuls of spoils for my choosing. It didn't and it hasn't and the last two years have been a struggle. I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to go to school and that I do have a degree, but it's left me just as lost as I was before I began.

I've been going back and forth about what I should do for a while and for the first little bit the thought of going back to school was out of the question. It's too expensive, I'll be too old by the time I graduate again, what would I take that would be better than my first degree, I'd be putting the rest of my life on hold. There were a million things I had to understand and overcome before I could decide what to do, but I've finally made the choice to return to university. Again.

Yes, after all my bitching and moaning about school, I'm doing it again.

But this time it's different. This time it's for me. This time is going to be more of a challenge, but with a much higher payoff. This time I'll come out of it with an extremely useful and practical set of skills and will have very little trouble finding work. I'm terrified, but excited. Even more excited now that I've seen this: http://tech.ca.msn.com/video-games/article/microsoft-opening-game-studio-in-victoria
It's as if the universe is giving me a nod, saying "Yes Kyria, you're making the right choice."

Huge exhale, here we go again!

Getting To Know The People I Know

2011-11-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've done one of these. I ran out of people.
Kidding, I just hadn't put any questions together, and then I stopped blogging for a little bit there. Regardless, I'm back and it's back!

Everyone, meet Sara!

Where do I even start? Sara is the most loyal person I know and anyone lucky enough to have her as a friend is truly blessed. She'll always be there for you, she'll always be honest and absolutely hilarious. She lives life on her own terms, doesn't care what anyone else thinks and has a propensity to find herself in more awkward situations than anyone I've ever met. So, lets get to know Sara.

1. What's something that's harder for you than most people?

Not being awkward.

We both start laughing

It's sorta true, you know it is!

2. What are ten things in your life that make you smile?

Plane tickets

Beaches

Clive (her snowboard)

Family

Baby Drunk*

Close Friends

Muffin-tops or fat people, it's really funny, it's like a half smile, cringe!

Hitting a flush golf shot

Painting

*Baby drunk isn't a drunk baby, that would be really awful. Baby drunk means just a little drunk. In the perfect place between tipsy and wasted

3. If you could be a kid again for a week, what age would you be and what would you do?

I'd be 7. Half the week would be in the snow building snowmen, igloos and building secret tunnels I could crawl through.

The other half would be out at the marina with the family boat, bullhead fishing and rock climbing

Me: Rock climbing when you're seven?

When you're seven, rock climbing is climbing on a rock that we could probably just walk up now!

4. What do you think you are naturally good at?
Making people laugh, I don't even have to try!

5. Deal breaker or deal with. I pose a situation that could occur in a future boyfriend and you have to decided if it's a deal breaker or you could deal with it.

Only owns one pair of pants Deal with it. It's a bit of problem unless he owns some shorts or something. I could probably buy him another pair.
Snorts when they laugh Cringes a little What if you really like him? I hate the F******* snorters! Deal breaker!
Reads romance novels all the time Barf! Deal breaker.
Names his goldfish after ex girlfriends Deal with it, because one day I'd have a fish named after me!

6. What skills would you bring to my zombie apocalypse crew?

Only Sara would be confused about what a zombie was! I start laughing because she asks if those are the ones that die and come back or if that's a vampire. I explain what a zombie is and how to kill them.

I wouldn't know what to do with them!

Thinks for a moment, starts laughing

I'd be bait!

7. Describe yourself in three words

Awkward

Adventurous

Risk Taker

8. If you had to speak to a group of 16 year olds about life what lesson would you try to teach them?

Mumbles Sex education

I'd teach them to live in the moment. Do what you want and the rest will come later.

9. Of all the places you've traveled where would you want to go again and where would you not want to go?

I'd go to the Bay Islands again

I'd never go back to Phuket, Thailand. It's full of fat North American sex tourists. It's a gross town.

10. What life lesson did you learn the hard way?

Teeth are replaceable*

I start laughing. Seriously? You're going with that?

You can only trust yourself

*The whole teeth incident. Something that would only happen to Sara. A few years ago Sara traveled to South East Asia. She was in Vietnam at the time and had been partying pretty hard one night. The next morning she wakes up and realizes she's knocked out her two front teeth and has to get emergency dental surgery in Vietnam. To this day she still doesn't know how it happened and none of the people she was with do either. It's a funny story in hindsight.

Thanks Sara for all the laughs!

Getting It Right

2011-11-17T14:44:00.000-08:00

Being crap at something is easy. Admitting you're crap at something and trying like hell to get better at it is significantly harder. Sometimes our attempts at getting better turn into a tail chasing exercise in perfectionism. Instead of allowing ourselves to accept that we're not at the skill level we want to be and moving forward, we end up with our wheels spinning, tweaking the same thing over and over until we lose sight of our end goal and wind up failing in the middle. That, or give up completely because we want the first attempt to be the last and only attempt needed to perfect our vision.

My hard drive and various notebooks are a shining example of how this mentality works. I have a huge stack of beginnings of stories. Just the beginnings though, very few middles and no ends whatsoever. Why? Because I would get through writing a few pages, reread it and discard it as junk. How could I possibly move forward from the drivel I produced when there are thousands of others out there writing things lightyears better than what I could come up with. So instead of ignoring what everyone else was doing and focusing on become better I'd concede to my lacks and count myself out as a failure. How unproductive is that?

So how do you remedy that? It's not easy, but you just have to let yourself be awful. Want to learn how to dance, but too afraid because you're a horrible dancer? Well, just come to terms with your two left feet and focus on the process instead of the result. Want to try painting but haven't touched a brush since elementary school? Grab some paint and canvas. Create something simple. If it's awful, laugh about it and try something different next time. It's not a big deal, no one is judging you but yourself and unless your name is Picasso, your first attempt isn't going to be a masterpiece. Hell you second attempt might not be, or third or fourth or even tenth, but maybe by twelve you'll start to see some real progress and by 15 you'll have made something you're truly proud of. You just have to allow yourself to keep trying.

So what's stopping you from trying something new? If it's a strong desire to get it just right, get over it. Nothing is ever going to good enough if you're standard to match is perfection. Accept that what you created is crap and try again. I can almost promise you it will still be crap, but a little less so and hey, that's progress!

Toothbrush Tactics

2011-11-15T12:01:00.000-08:00

Do you ever just assume that everyone must do common things the same way you do them? I do it all the time, doesn't everyone cut their grilled cheese sandwiches diagonally? Because that's what I do and why would anyone do it differently?
I found out last night though, that when it comes to brushing one's teeth everyone else is doing it wrong. The boy and I were standing in the bathroom getting ready to brush our teeth when I noticed that he was doing everything backwards. When I'm getting into my dental hygiene routine I wet the toothbrush, then put the toothpaste on then start brushing, which is clearly the correct way to do it. Am I right?!
Because the weirdo next to me in the bathroom put the toothpaste on the toothbrush and then wet it. Not being the type to be wrong I pointed out that he was doing it out of order. To which he scoffed and accused me of being the weird one. We couldn't just agree to disagree. We needed a tie breaker.
I popped my head out of the bathroom and shouted at Jeff "How do you brush your teeth? Wet the brush then put the toothpaste on, or toothpaste then wet the brush?" I was certain he was going to agree with me and he did for a second, but then his process got really involved. Jeff runs the toothbrush under the tap, puts the toothpaste on and then wets it again! What?! That's excessive, isn't it?
The boy and I couldn't agree what the right way to get your brush on going, but we agreed on one thing. Jeff totally does it wrong.

So now I'm compelled to ask:
What toothbrush tactic do YOU use?

Future. Past

2011-11-13T09:18:00.000-08:00

I get it. People are moulded by their experiences. The things that occurred in the past take you to who you are at the present. I'll even admit that looking back has it's benefits from time to time. As they say, you can't know where you're going until you know where you have come from. But that's all the credit I'm willing to give personal history, because a lot of people sure have a difficult time looking forward when their noses are stuck in the yesterdays. Your past is not a template for your future.
As we grow we leave more and more behind us, or at least we should. The person we were 5, 10, 15 years ago made choices that the person today might not make because we've changed. Hence why the past is a terrible place to look when we want answers. I'm not saying that our experiences have no merit. Rather I'm saying that we shouldn't lean on it like a crutch, especially when it comes to relationships with other people.
For example:
"Well my last boyfriend cheated on me so my next one probably will too."
"Last time I asked someone out they laughed in my face, so I'm not going to do that anymore!"
"When I asked my boss for a raise he said no. He'll probably say no if I ask again."
"I once lived with a boyfriend, but then we broke up. I don't want to go through that again so I won't live with my new boyfriend."

It's easy to fall into those sorts of thought patterns. If X happened last time, then X is bound to happen this time. And I think people do that because it's easy. It excuses them from overcoming their fears. It allows them to stay cozy and warm in a safe place inside their heads. At the same time, however, it stops them from moving forward. Yes, life is scary sometimes and emotional scars don't always go away, but that doesn't mean you give in. If you want to cling to the past then use it as a guide, not a crystal ball. Be brave! Be adventurous! Stop blaming the things you can't change for the reason you haven't given something another chance! Stop looking over your shoulder and start looking ahead, because by the time you're ready to look forward you'll have missed out on so much.

Heroes

2011-11-11T19:57:00.001-08:00

November 11th of every year is the day we remember all the men and women who have been, and still are, a part of the Canadian armed forces. It's truly tragic that such a day exists. Only because it's shameful how many lives have been lost in wars. Canadian soldiers are in an especially odd position as most of our war time roles involved supporting the fights of other countries. But today isn't a day for me to argue the merits of war. The battles fought are part of the past and those lives lost are owed the respect and commemoration given.
Many Canadian families can dig into their past and find an ancestor who was part of the military. My family is no different. As I've discussed before, my dad's dad fought in the second World War. His mother was a war bride from England even. My grandpa drove a tank and sadly I don't know much more than that. I'm not sure where he fought or what company he was part of, but that matters less than the fact that he was there, doing what he could for the cause.
I can't even begin to imagine the amount of strength, courage and conviction it took for a soldier to do what they did. Seeing veterans talk about their experiences is inspiring and heartbreaking. The lose that those men and women witnessed and endeared is unfathomable to anyone who hasn't experienced it for themselves. A large number of the soldiers who fought in the first two World Wars were younger than I am now. So much potential lost.

So regardless of your thoughts on the merits of war, today is a day to remember.

Hey Gang!

2011-11-05T16:08:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I'm ashamed to admit that I've let my blogging fall to the wayside, and ever more ashamed that I didn't feel too bad about it. What can I say, I've been working on some other projects and trying to get this whole life thing sorted out with less whining. And I feel like this here blog often became a place for me to moan and complain. It happens. I wanted to share with everyone something nice, instead of lame. So for you I have 18 Rules For Living a la His Holiness The Dalai Lama:

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
Follow the three Rs:
1. Respect for self
2. Respect for others
3. Responsibility for all your actions.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Spend some time alone every day.
Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
Be gentle with the earth.
Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

It's Not Just Me

2011-09-22T20:01:00.000-07:00

Thank you Huffington Post for this article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/22/census-recession-young-adults_n_975476.html?ir=Canada%20Business

It's not just me that is struggling. It's my generation.

Chasing Tails

2011-09-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

Maybe I've posted this before. Doesn't matter. I'm feeling it on such a mediocre day.

And the remix. You know, just for fun.

The Time Limit

2011-08-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

Patience:
1. An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance with confronted with delay
2. Quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence

I wish I could say I was a patient person all the time, but that would be a stretch. When it comes to kids, pets and the disabled I have almost endless patience! However, that limitless is, well, limited to those few exceptions. I loathe being late and having to wait for those who can't get their act together on time. If I say I'll be ready in ten minutes, I'm usually ready in five and waiting by the door tapping my foot to the beat of the passing seconds. It's who I am.
Other's taking their sweet time to exit the house is just a miniscule form of my impatience. The grander issue I have is overall life patience. I'm not a time waster when it comes to things that matter to me. Unfortunately most things in life hinge on the decisions and choices of others. I want that perfect job RIGHT NOW, but I need someone to hire me first, and I can only do so much. I want to own that house YESTERDAY, but I need to make money before I can even seriously think about it and I need a new job for that. I want to be a successful writer TODAY, but I need to finish something and get some people to like it first. Life is too short to waste time dawdling though, so my philosophy is just run at things as fast as you can. It might work or it might not, but humming and hawing over it won't get you anywhere. 5 year plan? I don't have the patience for that! I want it all as quickly as I can get it! While this makes for good motivation, it often makes for some disappointing and frustrating moments.
Rather than sitting still and waiting for things to happen, I often dash away before they have chance to progress. Why wait for something when I could be off on an adventure to find that something quicker somewhere else? That's why I love internet shopping! I don't have to wait in lines, or scour stores, it's all at my little fingers. I wish I could build my ideal life online and order it that way! Instead I have to practice the art of waiting and pray that all my patience wasn't a waste. I've got big plans. I've got things to do! Life isn't long enough to put off your dreams until the right moment comes. It won't ever come and you'll be left behind wishing you hadn't of waited.

My Baby Is Getting Old

2011-08-15T17:11:00.000-07:00

Everyday I look at him and the white hairs seemed to have multiplied overnight. As a puppy his giant paws and a little patch on his chest were white, the rest was all black. Now his age is showing, the whites have begun to spread out, taking over his young black fur. I wonder if I will wake up one day and see a dog as white as snow in his place.
Brodie is what vets like to call a "giant breed" which is the Hulk level in the dog world. And if you know anything about large dogs, you know that their lifespan is significantly shorter than dogs of smaller stature. A giant breed dog lives, on average, 6-10 years. Brodie just turned 9. Now, he is pretty healthy for such an aged dog. He still runs (kind of), he still eats (when he feels like it), he doesn't make any messes in the house, he can still see and hear (selectively I suspect) and most of the time he can get up without much effort. Over all he's doing well, but his age is beginning to show. Longer walks or hikes exhaust him for days, some days he won't even lift his head when someone walks in and every now and then it takes him a second longer to get up.
All animals have a limited lifespan and I fear Brodie is on the last little bit of his. If he could talk I wonder what he'd say, I hope it would be something along the lines of "Don't you worry, I may be old but I'm feeling fine!" I worry about him. When his time comes I hope he just goes to sleep and just stays asleep. Often I'll reach out to touch him while he slumbers to see if he's still there, it's hard to see his chest move through his thick fur sometimes. When his legs and tail start flailing I pray he's just having some sweet doggy dreams not a seizure. You just never know.
Lucky for us though, he's still kicking, literally. Unlike many large dogs his joints are still good, he's cancer free (as far as I know), and still has some puppy zest in there. The day will come though, the later the better, and no one can prepare them self for that. Knots are turning in my stomach even now as I think about it. Whenever it is it will be too soon fir you, my dear baby, you're getting old.

Expectations

2011-08-04T13:41:00.000-07:00

Many times I arrive at my blog, look at the page, feel compelled to write and fail to do so in an act of self censorship. There are many things I could write about, but don't because words are often misconstrued and I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong message or be offended or hurt by my words. That and I might say things that I'm not ready to admit out loud even to myself let alone everyone else who may want to talk about those touchy things. Perhaps I'm too sensitive. Lately, I've been wondering what this blog is for if not to express whatever it is I need to. So I leave it. I write for myself in other places and the blog goes without posts save for a video now and then or a post about something totally void of opinion. Every now and then I'll feel something worth posting that isn't going to step on any toes.
What am I going to do about it?
I don't know. The entire thing, this whole blog and its hundreds of posts seems to have lost its purpose.
All the words are here for anyone to read, but who really reads them? And what would matter to those few if I stopped.
They would hardly notice. Just like every other random blog this one would fall into the cracks of the internet and that would that.
This isn't an accomplishment, it hasn't done anything for me save for allow others in on my thoughts from time to time and that can be done with a conversation.
I don't know what my expectations were when I started all of this, but I'm coming to realize that expectations hardly matter. What you expect isn't usually what you get especially in a two-sided relationship. I expect something from my readers, and some expect something from me.
Are either of us holding up to what the other expected? No. Probably not.

Doggy !

2011-07-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

Dogs can do some pretty amazing things. This little pup is not only talented, but so adorable! I love how he looks at his owner after every trick waiting for approval and a treat. Too cute. Now I wonder if I can get the beast to learn how to jump on the counter and clean it ..... hmmmm ..... Something tells me that would be a disaster. I'd probably be better off attaching a duster to his tail and getting him to walk around the house, or at least the places where there are carpet. He does have a fear of walking on most of the hardwood in the house, after all.

Still alive!

2011-07-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted anything. I've sort of let this precious blog go unnoticed and unloved as I've been working on other things and just not doing anything worth posting about. Today is no different, I haven't done anything significant or noteworthy, but I felt compelled to write something. So what am I doing these days? Working. Watching the garden grow (hey there's an idea for a post!). Spending time with friends, family , furry pet. Living the dream! That is if the dream involves being a twenty-something university graduate, living with your parents and being broker than broke standing atop a mountain of debt! That's just life sometimes, it can't be all awesome, all the time!
Less about that crap though, no one likes a whiner! My lovely sister and her beau are going to be here in two days! The boy's fam the week after and baby brother after that! Then it's off to Penticton for a little vacay and some sweet concerts come September! Who needs money when you've got all the family love you can handle!
Now if only the sun would shine. Where is summer? Not here in Victoria that's for sure.
Fun video!

The Black Keys In Vancouver

2011-06-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes less really is more. As is the case with The Black Keys.
Last night the band played against the beautiful backdrop of Deer Lake Park in Burnaby, a suburb of Vancouver, and brought the southern blues with them. For the majority of their career, The Black Keys have preformed as a duo, a drummer and guitarist. That was until their most recent album, Brothers, on which they popped a bassist and keyboard player into the line-up. Adding a few instruments didn't tarnish the music, or add any unnecessary extra noise. It provided a sound that is a little cleaner than we've heard and allowed the original pair to expand their music in ways that were limiting as a two-man group. I enjoyed Brothers just as much as Rubber Factory and ThickFreakness and their entire library of work, so I didn't expect to like seeing songs off of their previous works more than those off Brothers. I did though. Watching just the original members, Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney, thrilled me in a way that wasn't touched with a full band on stage.
What's the difference? Up until recently these guys have played show after show with just the two of them. They've learned to work with each other and have perfected their two man show. Without the added distractors of a keyboard player and bassist, both on raised boxes, Dan and Patrick's gritty musicianship spews forth. The guitar crunched and wailed with grit in a way only a true blues player could imagine. I'm hard pressed to find a comparison to what The Black Keys sound like. In my mind it sounds like something you'd hear slinking out of a back-waters bar in the deep south on a hotter-than-hell muggy night. If the heat wasn't make you sweat, the punch of the drums would. That's what I imagine The Black Keys were born from. Dirty, sweaty, gritty, spastic, calculated, balls-out rock and roll!
Anytime I go to a really good concert I experience a magic moment, a moment where I'm suddenly wide eyed and able to take everything in all at once as if time slows for a few seconds. As the boys ripped into "I'll Be Your Man" I had one of those magic moments. With the guitar gut punching me and the drums shaking my soul I scanned the park, it was getting darker, the place was packed and for a few moments everyone seemed to feel the music as a collective group. That's what great music does, it smacks you on the ass and cries "HERE I AM!" And you better pay attention or you'll miss something amazing!
What a show!

Monday Can't Come Fast Enough

2011-06-23T09:10:00.001-07:00

In honour of the Black Keys concert on Monday:

I'm so excited!!!

When The Smoke Settles

2011-06-15T23:15:00.000-07:00

I'm watching the Vancouver riots unfold after the Canucks game and I am ashamed of what continues to flash across the screen. Vancouver is a beautiful city and from my experience the people living there are kind, courteous and caring people, like most Canadians. The behaviour being displayed tonight is anything but and the city, province and fans of Canucks should be embarrassed. There has been needless violence, vandalism, and looting. And for what? A hockey game. A HOCKEY GAME!
Riots and protests are nothing new. Libya and Egypt have been the scene for both in the last few months, but they are fighting for their rights and freedoms. Here in Vancouver they are fighting for the sake of fighting. I can't wrap my head around it. What are those people thinking as they set fire to a vehicle that isn't their own. What are they thinking as they smash windows of businesses. What are they thinking as they toss bricks, bottles and other debris at officers and into the crowd. Who raised these people?
Those cars you've destroyed belonged to someone, someone who for all you know is just trying to get by. The cars are nothing but melted steel and ash now, but those cars were purchased by people with money they worked hard to earn. Without reason their property has been destroyed, and for what? The entire situation makes me sick and it is a stain on the city and it's inhabitants.
When the smoke settles how many injuries will there have been? How many women will have been assaulted? How much property damage has been done? How many fires? How much merchandise looted? The entire world is going to look at this and shake their heads at such a pathetic display of stupidity over a sports game.
As a human being, a Canadian, a British Columbia resident I am so vehemently ashamed for what has transpired in the last 3 hours. Nothing about the situation is ok and I am disgusted by the people responsible for promoting and taking part in such behaviour. I wish I had something intelligent to say about the whole situation, but I have no words.

To Those Who Post Comments Anonymously

2011-06-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

With this blog readers are given the option to post comments as anonymous. That's fine with me most of them time because very few strangers ever post comments and the ones that don't have names are often friends, which I can decipher easily enough. However, there was a comment on the blog today from an anonymous user calling me an idiot. Lovely. It very well could have been from someone I know, said in jest. On the other hand, it could have been from a complete stranger choosing to call me out behind the secrecy of the internet. If it is the latter, I'm a little offended. If it is the former, I'm also a little offended but can take it in stride as I know it wasn't meant to hurt my feelings. Either way the result is of my own doing as I wanted to make commenting accessible to everyone!
That doesn't mean I'd like someone to call me an idiot though, who would want that? What I'm getting at is this, if you post a comment, be responsible for what you say and put your name, or even a first initial with it. It's all fine and dandy to call someone out if you're doing it as a nameless person, but would you do the same if forced to identify yourself?
So to the strange person whose comment sparked this post, thank you very much, I appreciate your input. Now if you dislike what I'm posting, then move along, this "idiot" isn't here to impress you.

Wicked Games

2011-06-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

When I first heard The Weeknd I wasn't too impressed. The music was molasses slow, and I like tunes that are more along the lines of gushing water. I did a quick listen through and only one song stuck out, this one:

It instantly went on the Ipod. I'm not really sure what it was about House Of Balloons/Glass Table Girls that drew me to it, but I listened to it over and over again. Still loving it. After having that one spin on repeat for a few weeks I decided I should probably give the rest of the album another listen. The second and third listen sucked me in just like House of Balloons/Glass Table Girls did.
The Weeknd's album is what I'd describe as "seduction tunes." This is the sort of thing I imagine sexy men throwing on in their penthouse apartments to woo the girls they've brought home. Maybe because it's hip-hop, R&B influenced, but I always imagine the seducers as really gorgeous black men. A little weird? Maybe! My brain will imagine what it imagines and it's imagining chocolate coloured Adonis' pouring expensive wine in expensive homes. I don't picture who they're trying to bed, those details aren't important. That's what this music does., it makes you think sexy.
Which is a little odd considering there is a lot of talk about drugs and shattered relationships, "I always want you when I'm coming down," isn't something you'd want your love interest to say to you. The Weekend makes it sound pretty darn hot though.
Don't kid yourself though, this album definitely has songs about getting busy, because come on, when you're not doing drugs and partying what else would you do? Seduce someone else's girlfriend obviously:

Listen at your own risk, because before you know it you'll be imagining all sorts of strange things! Don't say I didn't warn you!

Sunday Funday!

2011-06-09T15:43:00.000-07:00

There is nothing more amazing than spending a sunny day outside with fancy ladies and fancy sangria! Last weekend the girls and I had brunch (thank you Blue Fox!), made sangria out of the most random ingredients and played Bocce ball in the park. The weather was amazing, breakfast was amazing, my Bocce game not so much, but I couldn't have asked for a better day!

Bocce ball is serious business!

Double fisting, no biggie!

Mock Fandom

2011-06-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

It's not secret that I am not a Vancouver Canucks fan. Never have been, probably never will. I'm an Oilers fan through and through, but we all know how awful they are as of late so I haven't been able to cheer for them since the playoffs began. Up until this point I've been cheering for each and every team the Canucks have played. Unfortunately all of those teams were beat by those pesky 'nucks. They just won't die!
Being an outspoken anti Vancouver fan isn't easy when you live a stone's throw away from the home of the Canucks. Especially since all my lovely friends grew up here and clearly rep the Canucks. Throughout the entire playoffs I have been able to ardently heckle the team and rub in any goals scored against them with much joy! That's because I watched the majority of the games at home or some other private setting. In the early stages I ventured to cheer for Chicago in public, but that's as far as went. I'm a tiny thing, I didn't want to get whooped by an angry mob of fans in blue and green jerseys!
It's the finals now though, and although I can't stand the team I will say they've worked hard to get where they are. Knowing full well that Vancouver fans are at their highest level of fandom I walked into the bar today choosing to cheer for the team I've been loathing all season. Why? A black eye would not look good on this face! For the night, I was a mock Canucks fan.
I cheered and jeered at the appropriate times! I clapped, but never booed. All the while my insides were getting all twisty and stuff. I didn't like being a fake fan and my enthusiasm was passable, but never over the top, god forbid someone mistake me for a real fan! The third period was almost over and I was biting my tongue hoping that the Bruins would just get it in the net already! I was secretly rooting for them, if I was a foot taller and a built like a bodybuilder I wouldn't have kept it a secret. We all know that I am anything but, so fake fan I was.
Don't worry though, I haven't converted. I still don't want them to win, Canadian team or not. And even if they do win, my Oilers still have more cups so it's all good. Canuck fans can gloat but one cup in a franchise history of 41 years is pretty sad.
Go Bruins!

Here's The Thing About Card Tricks

2011-05-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

A while back the boy and his roomie got really into learning and doing card tricks. That's all fine and dandy, but here's the thing about card tricks, they're just that, tricks. I'll admit that it takes practice and skill to perform the sleight of hand maneuvers required to successfully pull off a card trick. That doesn't make them cool though. The time spent learning how to hide you movements could really be used more productively.
Perhaps I am just cynical, but I'm not impressed by most (note here I didn't say all) card tricks. Why? Because if I really wanted to know how those tricks were performed I could. Just as easily as those two boys scoured the net to learn a new trick, I could do that too. Anyone could. All those adults that are wowed by such trickery need only to consult Google (or Bing if you're into that) and the "magic" will be revealed. That sort of takes away some of the lustre of it doesn't it?
Don't start call me Scrooge just yet, there is something about card tricks that I enjoy. I enjoy watching kids watch them because their amazement is warranted and so incredibly cute! As an adult though I just can't get behind the tricks anymore. They've lost their "magic" for me simple because I understand them logically and can decipher the trick without much effort. How much fun is that? Not much.
Tricks are kids.

Have You Seen This!?!?!

2011-05-29T18:25:00.000-07:00

I'm currently watching a train wreck that goes by the name of "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding." Have you seen this portrait of a strange facet of British culture?! Basically it details the big moments of the lives of modern gypsies, or travellers as some are known. These are not ordinary people and their celebrations are not thrown in an ordinary way. It's as if you put the out-there styles of the Jersey Shore kids in a blender with a classic American trailer park, a lot of tule and a splash of backwards thinking. It's every bit as strange as it sounds. Here's a little example of just how outrageous things get:

Their dresses are so big and over that top that often the brides end up bleeding and bruising. I know what you're thinking, "gee that bride and groom look pretty young." You're right, they are. Most gypsy women get married around the age of 16. They are geared towards their big day early in life with moments like their first communion where the dresses are like mini versions of the above wedding dresses. The whole thing just blows my mind!

Don't be silly though, they still have rules, absolutely no sex before marriage, girls can't approach boys, they have to be approached or "grabbed" by the opposite sex. Girls can't be seen alone in public, they can't go out with their boyfriends alone in public, a woman's job is to be a classic housewife. Cleaning, cooking, birthing. You know, the works.

Don't ask my why I haven't changed the channel yet. Perhaps because I'm in such awe over the weirdness of it all that I want to see what kind of shenanigans are coming next, and you know there are going to be more shenanigans! Now excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor.

1+1

2011-05-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

I love Beyonce. She has an incredible voice, she's smokin hot and seems like a pretty nice lady too boot! This video just goes to show how talented she truly is. Just a piano and some back up singers and she can still wail! Not only that, but it was recorded by her husband Jay-Z. It feels like a really personal moment where we get to see her through his eyes. He is clearly just as enamoured by her talent was the rest of the world is.

Someone You'd Admire

2011-05-16T21:45:00.000-07:00

To Her Coy Mistress?

2011-05-14T13:19:00.000-07:00

Summer is coming, or so I hope, and the weather is starting to shape up. Kind of. That means that the other woman is slinking in, looking all sexy and stuff. You remember the other woman, golf, we've met her before. She's a cunning little minx and it appears she's come back with a whole new bag of tricks. Somehow she's managed to wrap her fingers around me. It came out of nowhere. All of a sudden I've become involved with the mistress and I hate to admit that I've kind of enjoyed it.
Don't get the wrong idea, I'm certainly not in love. She's too fickle and frustrating for me to fall head over heals for, but it's a challenge, and I love a good challenge. Most days I have no idea why so many people love golfing so much. You roll around flinging your arms around with a stick in your hands hoping you'll find the ball on the way down and that the ball will then launch as far away as possible and exactly where you aimed it. Most of the time though my arm flailing results in the stupid ball flying a short distance directly into the closest tree/bush/pond and everywhere I didn't want it to go. Nice golfers get to casually walk to their ball for the next shot. Me, I'm always running . Run to my ball, hit it, goes six feet, run again, hit it, doesn't go anywhere, run some more. I don't like holding people up so I'm always running from one shot to the next and we all know how much I hate running. Why do people enjoy this?
I persevere though. The 'ol gal knows just when to turn on the charm. I'll spend five holes whacking away to all of a sudden pull of one really amazing shot, and I'm putty in her hands, "ah that felt nice." It's short lived, but it's just enough to convince me to stick with her. I'm determined to wrangle her into submission. If she's going to take all the boy's time I might as well shove my way in too. Lady golf, I'm taking you on!

Nine Types of Light

2011-05-09T20:03:00.000-07:00

TV On The Radio has been around for a lot longer than I've been listening to them. Wish I could say I was an early adopter, because these guys are something else.
It all started with "Wolf Like Me" which came out in 2006. With that song I was hooked, I'd go through periods where I'd listen to the C.D over and over and then I'd move on only to return to it months later.
Now with their new album out they've snuck back into my everyday rotation. Especially "Will Do" and "New Cannonball Blues"
It's good times!

I AM Awesome

2011-05-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

I have been known to get all broody and moody from time to time. In those times I usually revert to over analysis, crippling introversion and outlandish speculation. The worst case scenarios suddenly run away with logic and the reason machine in my brain takes an unauthorized vacation. When things upstairs in the 'ol noggin get a little out of control it can be difficult to get everything back on track. Difficult indeed, but not impossible (thank heavens or else I might actually become one of those mythical crazy redheads). When the going get's tough, as they say, the tough (that's me) get going on a little mind game called "I AM awesome." Basically anytime some nagging thought nugget pops up I repress it with a self pump-up to reassure myself that indeed I am awesome. I like to think of things that make me more awesome than someone else.
*I have red hair! I AM awesome!
*I'm not tall enough to look like I'm a lumbering giant when I wear heals! I AM awesome!
It can be anything, doesn't matter, just as long as it makes me feel better. Nothing short of awesome is acceptable from then on. Listing of things that make you unique, and that you excel in is sometimes just the reassurance you need to kick those nasty thoughts. Sorry, I couldn't help myself with that one, because sir mixalot is kind of awesome too! The whole exercise seems kind of silly but if you aren't certain how incredible you are, no one else will see it either. Once you've pumped up the awesome you can move forward with your head held high and spread that great feeling around. So, what are YOU awesome at?

My Claim To Fame

2011-05-05T22:06:00.000-07:00

If you type in "I wish I could have met you" in Google, my blog is the first result that comes up. How neat is that? I won't lie, it makes me a little smug!

The Witness

2011-04-28T20:27:00.000-07:00

There are things in this world that when witnessed, take our breath away. Indeed our world is a beautiful place. Wouldn't it be nice if we could only see beautiful sights? Of course it would, but if we ignored the tarnished, disturbing, gritty and painful sights we would lose our desire to change them. I stumbled upon an incredible website. Photographer James Natchwey has been photographing the things that we want to turn away from, and he does so beautifully.
Take a look at his work. It's truly amazing.
www.jamesnachtwey.com/

The Beastie Boys = AMAZING

2011-04-25T18:37:00.001-07:00

Love the new video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evA-R9OS-Vo&feature=player_embedded

The Brain Wants What The Brain Wants!

2011-04-20T15:38:00.000-07:00

After four years of university I was happy to be done. Academia suited me well enough, but the deadlines, exams, presentations and all that were things I was eager to leave behind. The education system is a flawed one and after I completing my degree I felt no more prepared for "the real world" than I had been before I began. Now faced with the alternative, working for a living, I am beginning to miss school. Not because I am adverse to working, rather I am adverse to monotony and lack of mental stimulation. Each day in school, whether I wanted to be there or not, I was learning something new. I was reading academic papers, listening to lectures, writing my own and generally flexing my brain in various ways. At the time it never occurred to me that later on I would be using that wonderful brain less and less. Yet, here I am itching for something more.
Instead of being challenged at work I am lulled into "groundhog day" syndrome. Every day is essentially the same and each new project equally so. I feel as if I've been editing the same document for months and the only difference is who it is addressed to. At least when I was serving I was able to interact with interesting people and be entertained by the lives of others. Now I work from home and the only live I get to view is that of my dog. And all he does is sleep, eat, poop, repeat. He's cute and all, but it just doesn't cut it.
Knowing my potential isn't being reached is frustrating and depressing. I've been looking for something else to do, but this town is deceptively harsh. It is so beautiful and vibrant that it draws you in and makes you fall in love only to pick your pocket while you're busy making googley eyes at it. The jobs are few and far between and there are hundreds of other people vying for those exact same jobs. We're like a desperate net of crabs clawing over one another to make it out alive and none of us ever make it. I feel stuck. I feel desperate for something more. I feel so underwhelmed.

Hey There Cutie!

2011-04-17T20:52:00.000-07:00

Not many people can say they were born cool. Based on the above picture though, I think I can own that statement. "Kyria, cool since birth!" I like the sound of that. Regardless, the momentous moment that was my birth is reaching it's anniversary tomorrow. Twenty five short years ago I graced the earth with my infant presence. It was a joyous and amazing experience! At least that is how I'd like to view it. My mother might disagree.

Not sure where I was going with this post, perhaps a bit of introspection on my quarter of a century birthday.

Everyone likes lists. How about a list of things that happened the year I was born?!

The world got to experience Uranus. Many jokes ensued. The Voyager 2 space probe, probed Uranus. You're welcome for that one.
Pixar Animation Studios was opened!
Genocide was outlawed in the U.S.A. A little late don't you think?
A treaty ended the Three Hundred and Thirty Five Years War between the Netherlands and the Isle of Sicily. Who knew?!
Mike Tyson won his first world boxing title, beating Trevor Berbick

I wish I could say that I'm exactly where I thought I would be at this age, but life isn't like that. And really, 25 isn't as old as my 15 year old self imagined. In fact, many would balk at the idea of putting '25' and 'old' in the same sentence. And even though it isn't perfect, it's my life and I'm happy. That's what matters. Plus, I have a lot years to iron out the kinks, right?

The Place Where Dreams Come True

2011-04-12T16:13:00.000-07:00

Call it the magic kingdom, call it disneyland, call it corporate greed personified. Call it whatever you want, doesn't matter, I still want to go! Because The Disney Corporation are wonderful advertisers I've wanted to go since I was a child. I can remember asking my parents if maybe this summer we could go. Maybe next summer? Maybe winter? I'd save all my money and we could go! It just wasn't meant to be though. Plenty of my friends went and I amassed an impressive collection of Mickey Mouse shaped paraphernalia! I could almost fake I had been there and once we even had my youngest brother that we had gone. He even remembered spinning in the teacups! Our memories are funny like that.
I'm not a kid anymore, but the little girl inside of me just can't let go of that place. Every time I see a Disneyland commercial with all those giddy kids I want to kick them and snatch their tickets!
"I NEED THIS!" I'd scream in desperation, " THIS IS MY TIME!"
Away I'd go to spend a week with all the characters in the Disney family. There is a set of mouse ears calling my name somewhere, I can hear them! Oh, you know and I'd where them everyday all day. Surely you're wondering why I don't just go. For a number of reasons. First, I'm not 10. Now matter how much I try to justify it, I can't fathom spending my adult money and such a childish thing. Instead, I spend my adult money on adult vacations, which include adult beverages and activities. Second, I have this strange feeling that it would be less fun if I paid for it. I always wanted my parents to take us there, and now I'd like anyone to take me there! That way it seems more magical I guess. Third, I really don't like huge crowds and isn't that exactly what Disneyland is ? One huge mob ? Fourth, I don't want to risk shattering my idolization of it all. I've imagined what it would be like so many ways that I'm afraid it wouldn't live up to what I wished for.
What's my inner child to do?
Nothing. Just 'ooohhh' and 'aaahhh' at the commercials!

Canadian Justice Done Right

2011-04-04T19:07:00.000-07:00

If you aren't familiar with the Kimberly Proctor case you can find out about it here

There is no question that the Canadian justice system isn't always the most reliable. This time they got it right. I'm extremely sensitive to women and girls being abused and raped. Knowing what those two kids did Kimberly Proctor turns my stomach in knots, it chokes me up and makes me wish that the world were a different place. No one should ever have to be put through what she was, except maybe her killers. They deserve worse. I hope they never see a smile again. I hope they never get to laugh. I hope each day passes agonizingly slow. I hope that one day they wake up and suddenly realize what they've done and are haunted by that realization for the rest of their lives. Although they deserve a lot more than the hardships of prison, at least the courts have made the right choice.

Is This The End, Preston? Say It Isn't So!!!!

2011-04-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

To be honest I can't remember when I bought Preston, my current car. A good estimation would be about five or six years ago. Either way, we've been rolling around together for some time. We've been on some crazy adventures. We drove to Montana together and he was there for the roach incident. I packed him full of my belongs and off we went to Victoria. I packed him full of stuff again this fall and back we went to calgary. I repacked him and to Victoria we went yet again.
He's seen as much of Alberta and B.C as I have. To the mountains, the prairies, the coast and back. The back seat has carried everything from snowboards, to furniture, to dogs, to kids and a million other miscellaneous objects. Preston has been good to me!
All good things come to an end though, and it may be the end of our adventures. Getting a car registered in B.C is a hassle, to put it nicely. In order to do so the car must pass an out of province inspection. Knowing that mine wouldn't pass, I've kept my Alberta plates for the past few years. No longer though. My Alberta registration has finally expired, and as predicted, the vehicle did not pass the inspection. Heartbreaking!
The repair bill is potentially more than Preston is worth and a bill that high isn't one that I can pay. It's beginning to look like we're through. *Tear* True, it's only a vehicle and having such an attachment to an object is strange. Let's face it though, we spend a significant amount of our lives in our vehicles and memories are made in them all the time. I can't help but be attached to the hunk of metal and rubber! And as I look at that car through the window, I can't help but be bummed that it's time to rid myself of that vehicle.
It's been fun buddy!

Top #10 Posts, #5

2011-03-10T19:49:00.000-08:00

I was about to write this when I was distracted by my little brother calling. Now I've forgotten what post I had picked.
Here it is, surprise!

http://kolive.blogspot.com/2010/01/hello-is-there-anybody-out-there.html

Top #10 Past Posts Number 9

2011-02-21T12:36:00.000-08:00

Growing up sucks sometimes.
This is one of my favourite posts because it sums up that feeling and how promising life feels when you're still a kid.
http://kolive.blogspot.com/2010/09/promise-of-our-youth.html

People find this enjoyable?

2011-02-17T16:11:00.000-08:00

In what can only later be described as a moment of insanity I decided I was going to run in the big 10k that happens in Victoria each year. The Times Columnist, our local paper, sponsors the run and hundreds of people do it every year. I'm not nearly as active as I should be so the TC 10k seemed like good motivation to get out and do something.
At least it did in theory.
There is one major flaw in my plan though. A glaring one that I really shouldn't have ignored. The problem? I am not a runner!
All the runners out there can just shut their little mouths for just a second and let me explain.
Some people are really good at basketball, others are not. Some people are really good at high jump, others are not. Some people are good runners, others are not. I am not. Just like some people just aren't natural basketball, or baseball, or hockey players, some people aren't natural runners. Keep those lips sealed for another second, because I know what you're thinking "well with practice and dedication those who are not good basketball players can become better!" This is true, but it is also true that some people just shouldn't and can't play basketball.
I think I am the type of person that just shouldn't run. I suck at it. I hate it. I don't get any enjoyment out of it.
I don't care how many people tell me "Oh once you start running you'll love it!" They're all liars! Stinky, in-shape, healthy, liars! Because I have run many times and never once have I ever done so with a huge grin on my face!

So back to the TC 10k business. I asked my dear friend Jess if she'd like to train with me because she has done it before and I didn't want to run alone because that's super boring! We have lots of time to train, and judging from our first run, I'll need it. We were out for about 20 minutes yesterday and I think I only ran 60% of the time. That's how incredibly sucky I am at running. Jess could have ran the whole time, but instead had to deal with me. Sorry! I'm still baffled as to why people would want to run for fun!
Sure, if I'm being chased by a wild beast or a gang of teenagers I will sprint as far and fast as my short little legs will take me, but to run from nothing? PFT! Why?! Today I'm all achey. Yuck.

I can't give up though. I said I'd do it and I will, but yeesh when does the fun start!?

Merry Christmas ... Kind Of!

2011-02-13T15:06:00.000-08:00

Well, the boy and I were "financially challenged" at Christmas so to save ourselves some money we decided to postpone gift giving until February. The plan was to do it today, but our presents were all ready last weekend so we decided to do it then instead. But to keep with the spirit of our postponed holiday, I'd like to say "Merry Christmas" anyways BK!
XOXOXOXO

It's been crazy, fun, scary, hilarious, beautiful, ugly, simple, easy, frustrating, amazing and a million other things. More than anything though, it's been worth it.

This May Come Back To Haunt Me

2011-02-10T16:35:00.001-08:00

If you could, would you?

2011-02-08T21:46:00.000-08:00

If you had a chance to look into the future, would you?
How far would you want to see? One year? Five years? Fifteen years? The remainder of your life?
Imagine being given the chance to sit down and really see where this is all going. All the decisions you've made and would make would come together before your eyes into a condensed snippet of the future.
That would have the potential to be depressing. What if you take a look and find out you never achieved all the the things you dreamed of. Would that be harder to swallow in advance, or in retrospect?
The idea of knowing what I will become is kind of appealing I'll admit. Having advance knowledge would mean I could waste less time wondering and more time doing. No more time spent on things or people that won't be productive to the future I saw. Knowing before it happens might tarnish the experiences that are coming. Would it be like watching my favourite movie for a second time? I still enjoy it just as much, maybe even more because I notice the little nuances I missed the first time. I might enjoy the future I saw as it unravelled just as much or maybe I wouldn't.
I'll never know though. Aside from some wicked deja vu I'm fairly certain I'll never know what will become of me in the near, or distant, future. Though a little foresight would be really helpful right about now.

If you could, would you?

Getting To Know The People I Know

2011-02-01T17:17:00.000-08:00

Did a little impromptu version of Getting To Know The People I Know on Friday night. We were at a cafe waiting for quiz night to start, so what better way to kill time and have laugh then to grill my besties! The lucky winner (after almost everyone else said 'not it!') was Jess. Jess and I met while working at the golf course, which is pretty much where I met all of my friends here. She currently works at a bridal shop and has dreams of opening her own store one day, or maybe she'll consider reviving her dreams of becoming an architect, either way, she's amazing.
I won't even pretend that I'm going to get a recent picture of us because I never follow through, so here's Jess and I:

Everybody, meet Jess! By the way, this is one of my favourite photos. Good times!

1. What is your idea of a perfect day?

It's the first question and it begins "This is hard!"

A lazy morning and a big breakfast! Something outside and drinking with friends in the evening!

2. What quality do you values most in your friends?

Empathy and a sense of humour

3. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

Make myself more patient

Sara chimes in "You live with me! I'm trying to teach you!"

4. If you could become a supernatural being what would you choose to be and why?

I would be a ghost! Then I'd come back and haunt all of you!

I asked if she'd haunt us in a bad way

No, we could still hang, unless I was cranky about dying!

More from the peanut gallery "Jess, you're the creepiest person I've ever met!"

5. You are given one million dollars but you can't spend a single cent on yourself. What do you do with the cash?

I'd give a little to all of you guys, team binge.

Most would go to my parents to make up for what they've given me, and I spend some on something fun to happen in the city.

6. When is it ok to lie?

This question was a tough one. The table had all sorts of ideas about when it was and wasn't ok and no one could really agree.

I have to word this wisely. It's ok to lie sometimes. When it's just not worth telling the truth.

7. What defines you?

We had to come back to this one, it was tough to answer so I decided to change it up and ask the gang what they thought defined Jess:

Greg: Easygoing

Sara: A million different things!

Alicia: Your pretty eyes and very fashionable

8. Kill, Marry or F****. Three names are given, Jess has to choose to marry one, kill one and fornicate with one. Hypothetically of course

Chuck Norris Marry obviously, you can't kill Chuck Norris!
Prince Charles Kill
Lady Gage F**** because she'd probably be freaky

9. Deal Breaker or Deal With It

Has webbed toes Deal Breaker
Doesn't Drink (this one is particularly amusing because she happened to meet such a person the week before) Deal Breaker!
Still lives with his mom Deal Breaker
Has been in jail but won't admit what for Deal Breaker

10. You've survived the apocalypse and the only other people that survived are Gene Simons (not to be confused with Richard Simons) and Charlie Sheen. WIll you be repopulating the world, and with who?

Charlie Sheen, he's kind of hot.

The jury was out on this one as some of us really disagreed!

11. What do you want people to know about you?

Jokingly, I'm single and lovely!

Nothing really, everyone I care about knows what they need to about me.

She really is lovely! I am constantly amazed by her creativity and eye for aesthetic. I love that she paints and that they are incredible! Not only is she an artist, but she's one of the sweetest and caring people I know. Jess is the type of friend that would do anything for you and not ask a single question. She's smart and such a blast to be around and we're all lucky to have her as a member of Team Binge!

Boxes of stuff

2011-01-27T18:18:00.000-08:00

I'm moving again. Always moving it seems, but not in a cool nomad sort of way. I've spent the last two and half years dragging around boxes of stuff. This will be my fourth move and it's almost useless to unpack because by March I'll be moving again. Five moves and even the fifth isn't permanent. Six moves! That's five too many!
I wish packing were easier. They need to make a packing machine where you just dump all your stuff in and it sorts it and packs it all into boxes. Wouldn't that be lovely!
This post isn't really going anywhere. I'm really just putting off packing. Though, I should relish it because lugging my things up the stairs to the new place will be a lot more painful.

So, let me know if you have or want to invent a packing machine!

Held Back By What I lack

2011-01-24T16:33:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to pump up my other blog, but it's disappointing and frustrating. I'm doing it on my own and sadly I can't be an expert at everything and I can only do so much. I've put hours into research and writing, but all the effort seems lost because the physical site itself is as efficient as it could be. That's the catch though, I'm not a programmer and I don't have the money to hire one. That blog is so important to me that I wouldn't trust a self proclaimed web developer looking to get more experience to hack it up and turn it into something I don't want it to be. I don't know enough programmers either, and I would never ask the ones I do know to do work for me. It is their job to make websites, they get paid for it, so why would they take on such a big project for free? I don't think I have that kind of pull with anyone and even if I did I would feel selfish for using it.
It bums me out because I can see the potential, but I don't know how to reach it. There is so much about the world of the Internet that I don't know and it's holding me, and this project, back. What I really need is for more interaction from those that do read the blog, visit the facebook page or my Twitter feed. I need my friends to post responses and subscribe to the blog and to tell their friends, but none of that is happening. I can't force it upon anyone. Wish I could.
Should I let up on myself, it's only been a few months. Am I expecting too much? Or am I doing too little? So much of this whole project is discouraging. Maybe I should be pushing people more. Pushing promoters to promote me, pushing friends to push their friends, just pushing everyone in general.
I need the sky to open up and rain down good advice and guidance, because honestly I have no clue what I'm doing.

Girls, Girls, Girls. This feels familiar

2011-01-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

When I was 16 we moved from a teeny tiny town in northern Alberta, to a slightly bigger town in southern Alberta. Top to bottom! That meant that I was going into grade 11 in a brand new school, which I would find out later, was full of groups of friends who had gone to school together for years. Those last two years of high school sucked. In a few words, the girls my age did not like me. To this day I don't really know why. Maybe because I was new. Maybe because I didn't care what they thought. Maybe because I was quite and didn't play along with their little high school games. Maybe I was just plain unlikable. Whatever the reason, I was so glad to graduate and leave that all behind.
It's been a lot of years since then and thankfully I haven't had to go through that since. Now, I think you all know where I'm going with this. I was thrust into awkward high school flashback last night. Ugh, what a drag.
It was the boy's staff party last night and although I wasn't tremendously excited to go, I was looking forward to meeting all his coworkers. Names to faces and all that stuff. I was expecting it to be a fun enough time, it was for a golf course and all the parties the course I worked at threw were always a blast. The night wasn't terrible, but it certainly wasn't great.
Aside from the obligatory introductions none of the girls there said a single word to me. I wish I was exaggerating, but that's the truth none of them spoke to me the entire night. It was really unexpected and I wasn't sure what to think of the whole situation. Why are girls like that?
They weren't mean, so that was a plus, but it sure was uncomfortable!
Now I'm left with this really funky feeling of awkward nostalgia.
I guess some things never change! Thankfully I've grown up and matured enough not to worry about what those lovely ladies think!

Dear Roomie

2011-01-18T14:51:00.000-08:00

Please stop with the constant vacuuming and crappy pop music. Both are giving me a headache.
Thanks.

Ask me About Today

2011-01-08T13:15:00.001-08:00

Important Information

2011-01-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

People are so easily persuaded by gimmicks and false claims about things regarding health and wellness. I don't know how many times I've heard people talk about detoxes and cleanses. They are so certain that doing such things will improve their overall health, but they don't have any evidence or research to back up their claims.
That's why this article is so important to read.
I think everyone needs to understand that our bodies are fine tuned and efficient machines most of the time. This is only true as long as we're taking care of it through regular exercise and healthy eating.

Check out the article here! Enjoy!

Not sure if I should rep this or not ....

2011-01-04T17:28:00.001-08:00

This ginger is out of control! Not sure if I want to claim him for my red headed crew. New theme song maybe?

Three Hundred & Sixty Five Days

2010-12-31T17:48:00.000-08:00

First things first. I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe evening!

Secondly.

HOLY SHIT I'M DONE!!

Even though I was more often behind on days posts than on time I did it. I wrote one post for everyday this year. It was fun at times, trying at times, downright annoying at times and I'm glad it's over. So, where do I go from here?

I think I'm going to relax and write when I feel like writing.

Thank you all for the support in this challenging and taking the time to read all the silly and wonderful things I've wrote.

Here we go 2011

Dear Room mate(s): A lesson in laundry

2010-12-30T19:57:00.000-08:00

This is a washing machine:

I'm glad you know how to use it ... kind of. Because I'm so considerate I have a few tips for you when it comes to doing laundry. First, don't think that because all of your clothes are dirty that they need to go in the same load. It's better to separate large loads into smaller ones. Especially when it comes to things like towels. If you have too many in a load, the washer won't drain properly and they will come out soaking wet.
Second, and this is the most important, TAKE YOU CLOTHES OUT OF THE WASH WHEN THEY'RE DONE!!. The door that you opened to put clothes in conveniently opens so you can take said clothes out! Crazy huh?! Once the wash cycle is complete you can take the load out and put it in the machine beside the washer. The one that looks like this:

I understand that this might get a bit confusing because the machines look familiar, but it is the one on the right. I would say that it is the empty one, but chances are there is a load of clothes in there that you haven't collected yet even though they're dry. Now, remember when I mentioned not shoving the machine with all your dirty clothes at once? This tip comes in handy too when trying to dry your freshly cleaned clothes. If the load is too big, say 15 towels, it will take two days to dry and it will stink because it sat in the washer for a week and got all mildewy before you put it in the dryer, and when you did you just baked in the stink.
Another helpful hint, empty the lint trap after each load. If you don't it will build up and get trapped in the duct outside and then no air gets in and the clothes seriously won't dry until someone comes and clears it out (thanks Dad!).
Once you've done that, take the clothes out, put them in your room and from there I don't care what you do with them. I'm not a maid so I don't want to be putting your clothes in the dryer or taking them out and I wouldn't expect you to do that for me. Though you wouldn't have to, because once a load is done I'm all over it and on to the next step!
No one else can use the washer and dryer when your shit is occupying both machines. Challenging thought, but not impossible to understand.
You may be wondering why I am giving you this handy tutorial and I can say that it is absolutely necessary because, believe it or not, I need to do laundry too. Especially when I get home from vacation. So don't be a laundry loser and we'll all be happy!

2010 In Retrospect

2010-12-29T20:18:00.000-08:00

Well folks, 2010 is coming to an end, just in time. Something about the turning of a new year feels like a weight can be lifted and you can slough off your burdens from the year past. While nothing really changes sometimes just thinking about a fresh start feels like it is one. I guess the only thing that changes is your attitude and that is good enough.
2010 was a strange year indeed. It was every bit amazing as it was awful. Just turned out that most of the awful bits happened all at once. I'm over it. All the crap has taught me humility, patience, compassion, understanding and courage. This year I learned to let go, even when it's heartbreaking. And I learned to hold on because sometimes heads need to catch up to hearts. Certainly this year was one of growth!
Let me get a little reminiscent on everyone with some highlights from the year past:

Graduating University! Though I continually bemoan the lack of use for my degree, I am proud to have it and know that it is, and will be useful.
Sasquatch music festival. There were moments when I wasn't sure either of us was going to survive, but we did and it was incredible. I hope I can do it all again this year!
The family camping trip. Nothing is more familiar than having some stranger tell us to "shut it!" when all of us are gathered together. We didn't get kicked out, but I swear one of these days we will!
Seeing Tool. Finally! I've waited years and it was totally worth it.
Getting to spend six weeks at home. Even though I wasn't "happy" all the time, it was so good to be there.
Beer fest!!!

I could go on and on about all the little things that made my year, but that would take forever. Time to move on!

This looks good

2010-12-28T17:07:00.001-08:00

Christopher Walkin in a movie about gangsters? Yes please!

Future Vision

2010-12-27T20:19:00.000-08:00

It feels foggy in my head. It's as if I'm walking around with a cartoonish rain cloud plopped right over my noggin. At times I can't see through it far enough to see the sunny stuff beyond it. Now I've gone all metaphorical and wishy washy. I've always been able to hold out for the better and to look towards the future to a time when things would be more stable. These days I can't. I can't see myself getting out of this ..... muck. Every corner I turn is a new problem. The car I can't sell, but can't keep. The degree that I owe thousands for, but can do nothing with. Having to move home again. I feel foolish for complaining about it all, because it could be worse.
But it feels never ending. I don't know where the end of all this is and I don't know how to get there. Where am I going? What am I supposed to do with my life? Why can't it be more simple?
Oh whoa is me .....

Getting To Know the People I know

2010-12-27T15:20:00.000-08:00

Today we're getting to know one half of the dream team that created yours truely; my dad. My dad grew up in New Brunswick, is a power engineer and is probably the greatest dad ever. Though I am biased. Everyone meet my father, Ron:

You'll have to excuse the awful picture. My mom was harassing us, as you can see by the stray fingers above dad's head. He is also the only one who had to answer all their questions with a peanut gallery. Thank you other family members!

1. What have you learned from raising four children?

Patience

Heckling from the kitchen

Self Restraint

2. Who are you more like, your mother or father?

Bits of both. My dad was big man who scared a lot of people but really was a teddy bear on the inside. I have a lot of his compassion. My mom was small and feisty. She had determination. I got that from her.

3. Describe yourself in 4 words.

Compassionate

Caring

Honest

Proud of my kids

That's four words right there! Perhaps rebellious should have been the last one.

4. What is your favourite family tradition?

Christmas dinner. It's good to have everyone home to hear us all reminiscing about family campouts/trips/lying in school/etc.

The masses huddled in the ktichen are laughing at that one. Long story about lying in school but it involves me in my youth.

5. If you had a time machine what time would you travel back or forward to?

I would go back and talk to my dad more than I did. I'd also like to go back to see my mom.

6. If your were to put together an apocalypse survival kit, what 5 things would you be sure to include?

A rifle

A Machete

Hand operated AM/FM radio

First aid kit

Water Purification kit

To which my mom quips: What about your wife?!?!

It's a survival kit! What are you going to do? Pop up when I add water?!?!

7. What quality do you value most in others?

Honesty.

8. Tell me the story behind one of your scars. Better make it interesting!

I don't have any interesting scars. Most are from bicycle accidents and stupid things with knives.

Unsatisfied with that answer I reply: You gotta give me something better than that!

He holds up his hand and shows me a small scar on the heal of his palm

I was about 12 and there was this beautiful apple up in a tree. It was just out of reach. I jumped up to get it. On the ground there was a curved piece of glass though. I ended up landing right on it and sliced my handed open.

9. If you could trade places with one person for a week who would it be?

Contemplates the question.

I don't think there is anyone I would want to change places with. I like my life just the way it is.

10. As a child, what did you want to be growing up?

The usual, astronaut, fireman, policeman.

11. What do you want people to know about you?

That I love my family, enjoy my life and look forward to tomorrow.

My dad is incredible. He has sacrificed so much for all of us to ensure we had a good life. He has made me who I am today and I wish that everyone could have a father like mine. He's a hardworking man but a ton of fun. Thanks dad! Love you!

Young The Giant

2010-12-27T12:24:00.000-08:00

I can't help but love this song. It's so catchy and I love the simplicity of the drumming. I sounds so clean and simple.

We are a family that ....

2010-12-26T18:43:00.000-08:00

* Crosses out 'from' to put 'love' on all gift tags
* Continues to wear those ridiculous paper hats from the crackers. Every. Single. Year
* Gets gifts from Santa
* Sticks to tradition. We have received PJs and a movie every Christmas Eve since the beginning of time. Literally
* Says "I Love You" and shows that love with playful jabs, hugs, kicks, cuddles and what not.
* Plays everything from rummy cubes to dance dance revolution together.
* Pokes fun at each other in only a way family can.
* Sticks together.

We were raised with the value of family in the forefront of everything and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Merry Christmas To All

2010-12-25T13:00:00.000-08:00

I would like to take the time to wish everyone a wonderful and safe Christmas. Take the time today to spend with those you loved and appreciate the joys of the season. Take care everyone!

Getting To Know The People I know

2010-12-24T21:53:00.000-08:00

Today you all have the joy of getting to meet the last sibling, my older sister Leah. Big sis abides in Lethbridge and just completed her nursing degree (YAY!). So over a hearty caesar and a rum and nog I interrogated Leah. Everyone, meet Leah.

1. What is your greatest fear?

Running out of alcohol she quips.

Failure, not being successful.

2. Which living person do you despise the most?

I can't say I despise anyone.

3. Imagine your life in five years. What do you hope will change and what do you hope has stayed the same?

I hope I'm thinner and out of debt in 5 years.

I hope the love for my job stays the same.

4. Deal breaker or Deal with it

Has longer hair than you Deal with it
Doesn't have a job Deal Breaker
Has a movember moustache all year Deal with it
Is a recovering alcoholic Deal with it

5. Who has been the most influential person in your life and why?

My mom because she is always that voice that says I can be better or do greater. She always lets me know that I can be better than I think I am.

To which my mom chirps in from the living room"Oh now I'm getting teary eyed!"

6. What is the best and worst decision you've ever made?

Best: Going back to school

Worst: Thinking at 5 years old I could do my own hair*

*The pictures of this really do justify the response. Yikes!

7. A strange groundhog day curse has been put on you and you have to relive one day from the past over and over again for entire week. What day do you choose?

The very last day of my nursing program. After four years of hard work it felt so good to be done.

8. What word or phrase do you overuse?

Sorry

9. If you could live in any other time period what would you choose?

The Victorian era when your only job was to be high society and go to parties. Like Pride and Prejudice times.

10. What's your personal motto?

Grins It's cocktail hours!

11. What is your favourite Kyria and Leah Moment?

Starts laughing instantly.

The time we went to Lake Louise, BEST MOMENT EVER! *

*So here's the story behind that one. When we were kids our parents used to take us on ski trips to Jasper or Fernie. One year we decided to go to Lake Louise with good family friends. Well, the hotel we were staying at had a hot tub on the roof so Dad said he would take Leah and I up there. We couldn't walk up there with bare feet so I put on my snow boots. Once we reached the hot tub I was too impatient to bend over and take my boots off like a normal person, so I did what any 7 year old would do. I started kicking my foot around to get the boot off.

Kick Kick Kick

SPLOOSH

I kicked my boot right into the hot tub. Dad was not impressed and had a few words about kicking boots around.

That was fine, but the funny part was walking back to the room with a soaking wet shoe. Every second step was echoed with a wet squish followed by grumblings from Dad. You all know the kind of Dad grumbles I'm talking about, the ones that are swore under the breath about "darn kids" and "Stupid this" and "stupid that". It's probably one of those "you had to be there" stories, but really it was funny.

11. What do you want people to know about you?

I'm an open book. Whatever people want to know they can. Also I'm a closet Trekie.

I am continually in awe of my older sister. She has worked so hard to get her degree and she will make an incredible nurse. Leah is one of the most compassionate and gentle people you will ever meet. I swear she doesn't have a mean bone in her body and is such an amazing woman. I am so proud of who she has grown into and will continue to beam at all that she will become. Aim for the stars sister, because even if you do fail at least you had a chance to fly.

Christmas Movie Love

2010-12-23T18:43:00.000-08:00

I came across the above, super cute, illustration of a scene of my favourite christmas movie. "A Christmas Story" is a classic that shows the dysfunction of the average family around the holidays. It's about a kid who wants something more than anything else in the world and it's the one thing his parents refuse to get him. It's funny. It's weird and it reminds me of my own youth. Great movie!

Can't wait to watch it again for the millionth time :)

Airplane Etiquette

2010-12-23T13:00:00.000-08:00

I've been on enough flights and sat next to enough people to know well what is, and isn't appropriate airplane behaviour. Most of the time I'm pretty easygoing about it all. I just put on my headphones and dive into a book or magazine and ignore everyone else. Yesterday though, it was nearly impossible to ignore the man next to me.
First, he was a little too overbearing when it came to channel changing. The controls for the T.V are located on the arm rest. Fine. That doesn't mean that you have to encompass the whole arm rest with your hairy arms to see whats on! Really, his arm was halfway into my seat as he jabbed the channel button with his sausage fingers. Pound, pound, pound. And I'm leaning further and further into my mom's seat because I get a little uncomfortable with strangers invading my personal space. It is possible, and I know this for a fact, to press those buttons while staying completely in your own seat! Instead of wrapping around the outside of the arm rest, which means creeping into my seat, keep your ape arm on the inside and do what you wish that way! Please!
Second, buy your own magazine. Sure the article I was reading on the author of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo was interesting, I'll give you that, but that doesn't give you license to read it along with me. Nothing is more uncomfortable than feeling a strange man's gaze on your lap regardless of circumstance! At that point I almost expected him to lean right over and ask me to turn back because he hadn't finished reading the first page. That's how long he stared. Next time, either ask me if you can read it once I'm finished, or buy your own!
Traveling can be tiring and have strange people all up in my space makes me grumpy. So folks, next time you see a strange red headed girl hunched over avoiding all sorts of eye contact, pray that your seat isn't the one next to hers.

Welcome home KB

2010-12-22T23:09:00.000-08:00

My dog is glaring at me. It appears in the absence of the regular abundance of people in this house he has taking to a peculiar sleeping arrangement. Based on all the doggy hairs on this black comforter I think it is safe to conclude that Mr. Brodie has been spending some quality snooze time on the spare bed. The bed in which I now inhabit. I can see it in his doggy eyes, he is unhappy that I have taken over his favourite sleeping spot and closed the door so he can't leap onto it and me while I slumber. He is a big boy and would surely crush me in my sleep! So it is not because I don't love him that I ban him, it is because of my concern for my own safety!
Sorry puppy!

My fav non-christmas christmas song

2010-12-21T17:59:00.001-08:00

Tis the Season

2010-12-20T16:52:00.000-08:00

In a few days I'll be heading back to Alberta for yet another holiday of cold, cold and more cold. This Christmas is a little bittersweet. On the one side I'm ecstatic to be able to spend the week with my incredible sisters, brother, mom and dad. The flip side being that this is the last Christmas we'll be in Alberta and the maybe the last time for a while that we'll all be together. That's the strange and difficult part about growing up. My siblings and I are all at the point in our lives where we're moving forward and in different directions. It's impossible to say where we'll be this time next year and who knows we might all make it together, but we have to spend this next week as if we won't.
Half of us are here on the island and the other half spread across Alberta. Leah is finishing her nursing degree and will have so many options as to where she can find work. Adam will finish his schooling this year and will be running from Airdrie as fast as he can. Melissa will probably stay in Calgary. My parent will be here and so will I probably.
Our lives our changing.
That's life though, nothing is ever static. Life is a constant flux of changes and we learn to adapt. Some are harder than others. Holiday changes are going to be tough, but we'll survive. Through it all we're still here for each other no matter what.
I'm going to soak up all the family time I can while I'm home because who knows what next year will bring.

For art's sake

2010-12-19T19:51:00.000-08:00

I am not an artist by any means. I can't draw, I can't paint, I can't sculpt and I can not create something beautiful out of something simply mundane. However, a good friend of mine and her sister can. World, meet Novel Home Decor. The girls at Novel Home Decor take everyday or thrifted items and make them new and exciting! Stay tuned for more great things from them.
Check out some before and afters here!

Shell with shoes

2010-12-18T22:16:00.001-08:00

I don't know why this is so funny......

Truth be told ...

2010-12-18T22:14:00.000-08:00

I'm really dropping the ball on this blog. I can't help it though. Weekdays I'm on the computer all day at work. After that I don't really want to do anymore work on it, but then I have to work on keeping up with my other blog, which is more work. Then after that, the last thing I want to do is sit in front of the computer yet again and strain my brain for some sort of cosmic inspiration.
Perhaps I'm making excuses, but it's exhausting at times to be so connected to this machine. When I'm not trying to work I want to relax and spend time with the boy, or the girls or lately, my parents. And sometimes I just want to curl up on the couch and close my eyes and try to forget about the digital hum that echos in my ears all day.
This blog is the last on the list. I'm putting my own personal creativity on the back burner it seems. Perhaps I shouldn't be. Perhaps this should be something I make time to work at instead of brushing it off. I don't know and to be honest who knows where this blog will end up after my 365 days. But right now I have to see this project through for better or for worse.

You silly Brits!

2010-12-16T22:27:00.001-08:00

Oh Craigslist

2010-12-15T17:46:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon this gem of a job listing today.

Computer Input
"looking for female student to do computer input of journals and other like work....hours to suit... good pay and perks including occassional 3-way... this could be long term to get you through university for the right person, perhaps accommodation could be included send email of preliminary interest and all details will be available... only serious enquiries please. "

It all seems like a normal job until the poster starts discussing "perks" which is occasional 3-ways. WHAT!?!
That came out of nowhere! I hope it's some sort of secret business lingo that I don't know about! Awkward. Totally awkward.
I wonder if this man .... or maybe it's a woman ..... will get any "enquiries."
Craigslist makes me laugh.

Counting blessings

2010-12-14T19:07:00.000-08:00

When the going gets tough, the tough remembers to be grateful. It feels like I've been repeating the mantra "it will get better" for the longest time. So long that it comes as naturally as breathing. At times like this it's important to remember the beautiful and wonderful and amazing things in life. Today I am grateful for:
* Modern architecture. Enduring this weather in a tee pee would be the worst!
* Hot cups of coffee and tea
* Parents. Enough said.
* The generosity of others
* Super soft doggy ears
* Mornings that turn into days spent in bed
* Knowing that falling isn't an option. Someone will always be there to catch me.

Welcome to the future!

2010-12-14T15:32:00.000-08:00

It will be a sad and terrible day if the robot wins!

Do the hustle!

2010-12-12T13:51:00.000-08:00

I only have 19 days left of my "one post for every day" challenge, aaaaaaaaaaand of course I'm behind. That's nothing new though. I've spent more time catching up than I have being on time with all these posts. I better hustle!
I don't know what this is, but it's kind of amazing

In the kitchen with Kyria

2010-12-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

I don't bake very often. Mostly because I haven't had many good results. Sure, I can make a cake from a box or spoon cookies from a roll of dough, but beyond that I'm sort of a baking oaf. The kitchen isn't totally foreign to me, I can cook a pretty good meal. Cooking is an art and baking is a science, perhaps that's my problem. When I cook I get to wing it, I can throw in anything and fiddle with the amounts. Baking however, requires a certain amount of precision that I can't be bothered with. Today I attempted to do the near impossible and whip up a batch of delicious cookies.

So it begins. Ingredients for a disaster?

Things got messy really quickly. Powdery stuff everywhere.

See Ma! I did use the lovely red power mixer!

Dry meets wet and never the two shall part!

It's chocolaty .... looks a little odd. It tasted lovely to me.... but there was still

much more left to do. More that I could screw up!

Here the little delights are. Just about ready to be popped

into the oven. The oven part is usually the part that gets me.

Either I over cook or under cook them

OH MY GAWD! Cookies take soooo long to cook.

You seriously expect me to wait 9 whole minutes

for sugary awesomeness?

Here they are all cooked and warm and gooey.

Nothing is more amazing than peanut butter wrapped in chocolate!

These buggers are deceptive, look just like a chocolate cookie

then BAM peanut butter!

How did they turn out? Not to toot my own horn, but I'd say they are close to perfect. My roomie seemed to enjoy them.

Kitchen score:

Kyria - 1 Baking - 0

If you want to give this simple and tasty recipe a try, have at it!

Movie Magic

2010-12-10T17:45:00.000-08:00

Innovation makes the world go round and the film industry is always looking for new and exciting techniques. One of the most well known visual effects artist is Dennis Muren who has worked on such classics as E.T, Raiders of the Lost Ark and Jurassic Park to name a few. This is a really neat article that shows how some of the effects captured in those movies were created by Muren.

Adele

2010-12-10T17:23:00.000-08:00

British singer Adele is releasing a new album in early 2011. I am really looking forward to it. She has such a soulful voice. It really is beautiful.

Guilty pleasures

2010-12-08T21:01:00.000-08:00

I am a huge movie buff. I almost love movies as much as I love music. Almost. One of my favourite types of movie are quirky, devastating romances. The kind that make no logical sense but feel real and believable, and touching. Not that mushy rom-com type of garbage. More like (500) Days of Summer style of movie. This one has potential to be like that, plus it's done by Gus Van Sant. Bonus!

Working from home

2010-12-08T18:50:00.000-08:00

The luxury of working from home is that I can wear my PJs all day, which I have done on multiple occasions. I can watch T.V, listen to music, do my laundry and other household chores while I'm at work. It's been nice, kind of.
There are some downsides to working from home. I spend all day in my jammies. Wait? What? Didn't I just finish saying that wearing sleepwear all day was a luxury? Well, yes, it is nice on days that I don't feel up to doing much. However, it creates a weird feeling. If I stay in them too long it's as if I've become a hermit loser who has nothing to live for so I never get dressed. Some days I haven't put on normal clothes until well after one. When you work in the public, you have to look appropriate and having to be at public standards is kind of nice. Perhaps I should challenge myself to get ready everyday and force my coworkers to video chat with me so that I feel my preparations were justified!
Another thing that kind of sucks about working from home is that my work is always here. I can't leave it "at the office" because my home is the office. I'm afraid to check my e-mails for fear that I might get something from work and feel the need to get on it. Turn on the computer : WORK WORK WORK WORK! AHHHHH! Too much time spent staring at a screen.
Also, not having people around is a bit of a pain, miscommunications are more prevalent when communicating over a textual medium. And nothing makes you seem more nutty than talking out loud to yourself when no one else is in the room. "I'm on a Skype call, I swear!"
Working from home is a bizarre world!

Liver and Onion Logic

The Power of Small Steps

Unfinished Business: Untitled

Unfinished Business: Evil Twin Version 2

Unfinished Business: Evil Twin Version 1

Unfinished Business: Little Love

Out On a Limb and Unfinished Business

People Never Cease To Inspire

Yoga and the practice of caution

Getting Schooled

Modest Resolutions

Christmas as an Adult vs. Christmas as a Kid

One Last Neck Crane At 2011

Evolution and old people

Music Videos In a Digital Era

Synchronicity and The Re-Education of Kyria Round 2

Getting To Know The People I Know

Getting It Right

Toothbrush Tactics

Future. Past

Heroes

Hey Gang!

It's Not Just Me

Chasing Tails

The Time Limit

My Baby Is Getting Old

Expectations

Doggy !

Still alive!

The Black Keys In Vancouver

Monday Can't Come Fast Enough

When The Smoke Settles

To Those Who Post Comments Anonymously

Wicked Games

Sunday Funday!

Mock Fandom

Here's The Thing About Card Tricks

Have You Seen This!?!?!

1+1

Someone You'd Admire

To Her Coy Mistress?

Nine Types of Light

I AM Awesome

My Claim To Fame

The Witness

The Beastie Boys = AMAZING

The Brain Wants What The Brain Wants!

Hey There Cutie!

The Place Where Dreams Come True

Canadian Justice Done Right

Is This The End, Preston? Say It Isn't So!!!!

Top 10 Posts: NUMBER ONE!

Top 10 Posts Number 2

Top 10 Posts: Number 3!

Top 10 Posts, #4

Top #10 Posts, #5

Top Posts #6

Top 10 Posts, #7

Top 10 Posts, #8

Top #10 Past Posts Number 9

Top 10 Posts #10

People find this enjoyable?

Merry Christmas ... Kind Of!

This May Come Back To Haunt Me

If you could, would you?

Getting To Know The People I Know

Boxes of stuff

Held Back By What I lack

Girls, Girls, Girls. This feels familiar

Dear Roomie

Ask me About Today

Important Information

Not sure if I should rep this or not ....

Three Hundred & Sixty Five Days

Dear Room mate(s): A lesson in laundry

2010 In Retrospect

This looks good

Future Vision

Getting To Know the People I know

Young The Giant