It's coming to that time where people begin to look into the new year and think of all the ways they'd like to change, often setting goals so lofty and unreachable that they are forgotten before February hits. With a new year we all hope that the fumbles and failings of the one that past will be forgotten and wiped clean. We want to start over. And for many the changing of years is a perfect opportunity to do so.
I've never been too big on resolutions. Changes don't need to wait until the last page of a calendar is flipped. Now has always been as good a time as any. As we roll into 2012 I've decided on two small, but meaningful, goals for the new year.
First: Believe
Easier said than done. In the new year I want to make a more conscious effort to believe in myself and others. Fear can be crippling but unwillingness to try creates the same result. Lack of action. This is the year of action. Simple.
Second: Smile
It's been, well, interesting, to put it blandly, since I graduated university. Lots of shattered expectations, disappointment and frustration. The realization that my life wasn't where I thought it would be was tough to handle and even tougher to accept. I can't change the road I took to get here. I'm here. There is nothing else to it. Might as well enjoy 'here' while I'm living it. This year I'm going to try and worry less about expectations and focus more on moving positively forward. Life is never as bad as it seems, and I'm going to try and embody that in the new year.
That's it. Two modest resolutions and an entire year to work on it. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their holiday and is looking forward to 2012 with hope and excitement.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Christmas as an Adult vs. Christmas as a Kid
When you're a kid Christmas time is magic. As an adult Christmas time is a different kind of magic. A more booze filled sort of wonderment. Let's run through some difference between celebrating the holidays as kid versus as an adult.
Travel
As children we often went to our grandparent's place for Christmas. With four young kids flying was out of the question. In the middle of winter my parents would stuff us all into the car and set out through the snowy rockies to the rainy coast of B.C. My parents were brave. Not only was there screaming, tantrums, crying, poking and sometimes even puking, there was also snow and ice and flurries. Traveling with kids by car over Christmas is a special kind of Hell.
While I wouldn't go back to the sardine like trips I took as a child, traveling at Christmas as an adult is not any more enjoyable. Airports are awful on an average day. Toss in hundreds of grumpy, over-packed, over-tired and impatient other travellers into one building and one snaking lineup and the awfulness increases tenfold. When I was a kid if there was another kid crying in the car I could turn around and tell them to shut it, because they were one of my sisters or brother. On a plane, I'm enduring the crying because the last thing I need is black eye for telling some strange child to "Keep it down back there!!!"
Christmas Lists
Your Christmas list as a kid is usually filled with shit you know you aren't going to get. My list as a 10 year old? Discman, Computer, Gameboy, Dog and a bunch of other things that my parents probably laughed at, "HA! Kids."
Christmas list as an adult? One word: practical. There were no extravagant items on my list this year, just regular old stuff I need for life. My list at 25? Dishes, gym bag, clothes. Seriously, life gets dull as you age.
Christmas Eve
On the night before Christmas we'd usually have dinner and annoy our parents for a few hours with this mantra, "Can we open a present yet?" Finally they'd give in and we'd all rush to the tree and find our Christmas eve gifts. There was no choice in what present we got, it was always the same. Every year we'd get a new pair of P.Js and movie.
Even now we still get to open a present on Christmas eve. And even now it's still pyjamas and a movie and it's just as exciting. Who says you have to grow up!?
Christmas Morning
Before we went to bed our parents would tell us we could get up at 8. NO EARLIER. Well the sun would rise the next morning and I'd have been up for hours to great it. I'd sneak downstairs to see all the presents and then start knocking on doors to see if anyone else was up. Usually there were at least two of us awake so we'd gang up together to do the clock watch and tick down the minutes until 8. At 7:30 we'd driven ourselves crazy waiting so we'd go sit by the tree and hold our stuffed stockings for a few minutes hoping our mental rays of Christmas excitement would rouse the rest of the family. When that didn't work we'd reluctantly let go of our stockings to wake everyone else, with much grumbling and reluctant compliance. The rest of the morning would be filled with the sound of ripping paper and childish glee.
Once your Christmas list gets to the practical stage, theres is a little less excitement surrounding Christmas morning. Instead of wondering what sweet toy your going to find under the tree, you're busy wondering how many mimosas and coffees with baileys you can squeeze in before breakfast. Any excuse to start drinking before noon! While the morning still involves gifts it's more about spending time with the fam and boozing in your PJs. Amiright?!?
Travel
As children we often went to our grandparent's place for Christmas. With four young kids flying was out of the question. In the middle of winter my parents would stuff us all into the car and set out through the snowy rockies to the rainy coast of B.C. My parents were brave. Not only was there screaming, tantrums, crying, poking and sometimes even puking, there was also snow and ice and flurries. Traveling with kids by car over Christmas is a special kind of Hell.
Dad: Shut your mouths back there before I leave
you on the side of the road SERIOUSLY
While I wouldn't go back to the sardine like trips I took as a child, traveling at Christmas as an adult is not any more enjoyable. Airports are awful on an average day. Toss in hundreds of grumpy, over-packed, over-tired and impatient other travellers into one building and one snaking lineup and the awfulness increases tenfold. When I was a kid if there was another kid crying in the car I could turn around and tell them to shut it, because they were one of my sisters or brother. On a plane, I'm enduring the crying because the last thing I need is black eye for telling some strange child to "Keep it down back there!!!"
Merry Christmas, enjoy it in the longest line EVER!
Christmas Lists
Your Christmas list as a kid is usually filled with shit you know you aren't going to get. My list as a 10 year old? Discman, Computer, Gameboy, Dog and a bunch of other things that my parents probably laughed at, "HA! Kids."
Christmas list as an adult? One word: practical. There were no extravagant items on my list this year, just regular old stuff I need for life. My list at 25? Dishes, gym bag, clothes. Seriously, life gets dull as you age.
Christmas Eve
On the night before Christmas we'd usually have dinner and annoy our parents for a few hours with this mantra, "Can we open a present yet?" Finally they'd give in and we'd all rush to the tree and find our Christmas eve gifts. There was no choice in what present we got, it was always the same. Every year we'd get a new pair of P.Js and movie.
Who loves footie jammies?! I do!
Even now we still get to open a present on Christmas eve. And even now it's still pyjamas and a movie and it's just as exciting. Who says you have to grow up!?
Holy crap! Penguins on my new jammies?!
Winning!
Christmas Morning
Before we went to bed our parents would tell us we could get up at 8. NO EARLIER. Well the sun would rise the next morning and I'd have been up for hours to great it. I'd sneak downstairs to see all the presents and then start knocking on doors to see if anyone else was up. Usually there were at least two of us awake so we'd gang up together to do the clock watch and tick down the minutes until 8. At 7:30 we'd driven ourselves crazy waiting so we'd go sit by the tree and hold our stuffed stockings for a few minutes hoping our mental rays of Christmas excitement would rouse the rest of the family. When that didn't work we'd reluctantly let go of our stockings to wake everyone else, with much grumbling and reluctant compliance. The rest of the morning would be filled with the sound of ripping paper and childish glee.
Bro, santa got me a gun AND a dollhouse.
Why are you still dreaming of him whipping his reindeer?
Get down there!
Once your Christmas list gets to the practical stage, theres is a little less excitement surrounding Christmas morning. Instead of wondering what sweet toy your going to find under the tree, you're busy wondering how many mimosas and coffees with baileys you can squeeze in before breakfast. Any excuse to start drinking before noon! While the morning still involves gifts it's more about spending time with the fam and boozing in your PJs. Amiright?!?
Hold the fruit, I need more room for booze!
Christmas Dinner
First, you're too young to sit with the adults so for a good ten years you're stuck at the kiddie table. Then, when you think you're old enough to sit with the adults they stick with you the "babies" anyway. When you finally make it to the big table you realize that even though you should be acting like an older kid you'd rather be back at the little table where you weren't getting in crap for burping. After dinner you're forced to do the dishes and hope you can weasel your way into drying because all the kids know that washing sucks.
Finally when you grow up and are old enough to appreciate your family for being human beings dinner is a great time. You've already got a solid buzz on so the food is amazing, everyone is laughing and you're drinking even more. After the feast you do the dishes without asking and hate it every bit as you did as a kid, but now you're an adult and you do it because it's expected and the nice thing to do after mom spends all day cooking. Plus, the sooner dinner dishes are out of the way the sooner dessert is coming!
The holidays are pretty awesome as a kid, but the older I get the more I appreciate them. Each year my siblings and I get deeper and deeper into our adult lives and it get's more difficult to connect face to face. Christmas is the one time of year we all get to be together and I couldn't be more grateful for it. So everyone enjoy your family, your kids, your friends and the season!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
One Last Neck Crane At 2011
I can't even begin to put into words how excited I am for the holidays this year. It's the first year that I get to spend Christmas in Victoria, my sisters are coming and I'm just really looking forward to spending time with my family. Especially since it won't be -20 something out all day, every day. This Christmas will be different for sure, but it's still going be just as beautiful and loving as ever.
I am also glad to be putting another year behind me. 2011 was a year of growth and settling. I don't mean settling, as in settling for less, but coming to terms with who I am and where I want to go. I feel like 2011 wrapped me up and held me in place just so I could learn. It was a Sensei, Young Grasshopper, kind of deal. In honour of my year of growth I'd like to talk about some important things I've learned. Little snippets of life advice I've found useful. Maybe you might enjoy them too.
1. Go Easy On Yourself
2010 was a slog and rolling into 2011 I had high hopes. As things often happen, my hopes didn't quite work out the way I planned and I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be. I always had such high standards for myself and expected to be in a much different place then I was. There were plenty of times this year where I felt defeated and stuck. Why hadn't I accomplished the goals I had set out? What was wrong with me? Was I ever going to get anywhere? My inner bully poked and prodded and tortured my fragile, shiny ideals of my own life.
If I spoke to anyone the way I spoke to myself I would certainly be a very unpopular person. Isn't that how it works though? We are far more cruel to ourselves, to the one person we have to live with day in and day out, than we are to anyone else. I don't think it's because we can take the beating, because I know I can't. We allow others flexibility and forgiveness while we give ourselves no such kindness.
I've learned though. This year I learned to be gentle with myself. I can no longer beat myself up about the poor decisions I made and the reasons I'm not where I expected to be. Negativity begets negativity, so I've moved past it.
No, I haven't bought myself a pair of rose coloured glasses and turned into an eternal optimist. I've just realized that I'll get to where I need to be in due time. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and be kind to myself. No more personal brow beating.
How about you, blog readers, can you be a little nicer to yourself?
I am also glad to be putting another year behind me. 2011 was a year of growth and settling. I don't mean settling, as in settling for less, but coming to terms with who I am and where I want to go. I feel like 2011 wrapped me up and held me in place just so I could learn. It was a Sensei, Young Grasshopper, kind of deal. In honour of my year of growth I'd like to talk about some important things I've learned. Little snippets of life advice I've found useful. Maybe you might enjoy them too.
1. Go Easy On Yourself
2010 was a slog and rolling into 2011 I had high hopes. As things often happen, my hopes didn't quite work out the way I planned and I was nowhere close to where I wanted to be. I always had such high standards for myself and expected to be in a much different place then I was. There were plenty of times this year where I felt defeated and stuck. Why hadn't I accomplished the goals I had set out? What was wrong with me? Was I ever going to get anywhere? My inner bully poked and prodded and tortured my fragile, shiny ideals of my own life.
If I spoke to anyone the way I spoke to myself I would certainly be a very unpopular person. Isn't that how it works though? We are far more cruel to ourselves, to the one person we have to live with day in and day out, than we are to anyone else. I don't think it's because we can take the beating, because I know I can't. We allow others flexibility and forgiveness while we give ourselves no such kindness.
I've learned though. This year I learned to be gentle with myself. I can no longer beat myself up about the poor decisions I made and the reasons I'm not where I expected to be. Negativity begets negativity, so I've moved past it.
No, I haven't bought myself a pair of rose coloured glasses and turned into an eternal optimist. I've just realized that I'll get to where I need to be in due time. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and be kind to myself. No more personal brow beating.
How about you, blog readers, can you be a little nicer to yourself?
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Evolution and old people
My good friend Jeff just started blogging and he's posted two blogs about what happens when men and ladis get old.
You can check it out here: http://jeffreyoblog.blogspot.com/
Basically, old men get old man strength and women get old lady wisdom.
I thought it might be good to expand a little on those ideas. I won't argue with the old man strength, because from an evolutionary standpoint (gosh I love evolution don't I?) it serves old men well to get a boost of strength. An increase in physical abilities means they can still dominate their younger competition. The alpha male can continue to be the alpha male because he can out arm wrestle the young bucks. Or whatever it is that old men do to prove they're stronger and tougher than the kids, despite their grey hair and beer bellies. Indian leg wrestling? Noogies? Ripping phone books? Round-house kicking things? Who knows. Men are weird.
Women, on the other hand, don't get any stronger. They just get more frail and fragile and become walking, talking pieces of fine china. That's what happens right? And yes I will agree that they get more wise, but so do men, in a general sense. With age comes experience and with experience a better understanding of the world and the people in it. What old ladies get that old man don't is the answers to any practical household problem ever.
Let's discuss, how many times have you called your mom, or grandma, or aunt to ask about what to use to thicken up a sauce, or the proper way to cook a turkey with stuffing. Not just cooking though, other practical things.
One of the best examples I can think of is when I spilled red wine all over my jacket. I knocked the entire glass onto it and the jacket looked like it was made with burgundy zebra print fabric. I thought for sure it was ruined, but I gave it to my mom anyway to see if she could get it clean. Sure enough it appeared in my room a few days later looking brand new. I don't know how she did it, but had I given it to dad or tried to it myself it likely would have come out pink or something.
You have a stain and don't know how to get it out? Ask a lady. Have a rash and don't know what it is? Mom probably does. Burned rice to the bottom of a pan, call grandma she's got you covered. Sure dad can help you move that dresser, but can he tell you how to buff a scuff out of the floor so you get your damage deposit back? Or how to fix a broken zipper, get gum off your favourite pair of pants, trim your own bangs, plant carrots and can vegetables? Somehow women's brains are suddenly overflowing with facts about life and the solution to everything.
The alpha males can go around thumping their chests all they want, but when it's time for them to save a meal or a pair of pants, no amount of muscle will do.
You can check it out here: http://jeffreyoblog.blogspot.com/
Basically, old men get old man strength and women get old lady wisdom.
I thought it might be good to expand a little on those ideas. I won't argue with the old man strength, because from an evolutionary standpoint (gosh I love evolution don't I?) it serves old men well to get a boost of strength. An increase in physical abilities means they can still dominate their younger competition. The alpha male can continue to be the alpha male because he can out arm wrestle the young bucks. Or whatever it is that old men do to prove they're stronger and tougher than the kids, despite their grey hair and beer bellies. Indian leg wrestling? Noogies? Ripping phone books? Round-house kicking things? Who knows. Men are weird.
Women, on the other hand, don't get any stronger. They just get more frail and fragile and become walking, talking pieces of fine china. That's what happens right? And yes I will agree that they get more wise, but so do men, in a general sense. With age comes experience and with experience a better understanding of the world and the people in it. What old ladies get that old man don't is the answers to any practical household problem ever.
Let's discuss, how many times have you called your mom, or grandma, or aunt to ask about what to use to thicken up a sauce, or the proper way to cook a turkey with stuffing. Not just cooking though, other practical things.
One of the best examples I can think of is when I spilled red wine all over my jacket. I knocked the entire glass onto it and the jacket looked like it was made with burgundy zebra print fabric. I thought for sure it was ruined, but I gave it to my mom anyway to see if she could get it clean. Sure enough it appeared in my room a few days later looking brand new. I don't know how she did it, but had I given it to dad or tried to it myself it likely would have come out pink or something.
You have a stain and don't know how to get it out? Ask a lady. Have a rash and don't know what it is? Mom probably does. Burned rice to the bottom of a pan, call grandma she's got you covered. Sure dad can help you move that dresser, but can he tell you how to buff a scuff out of the floor so you get your damage deposit back? Or how to fix a broken zipper, get gum off your favourite pair of pants, trim your own bangs, plant carrots and can vegetables? Somehow women's brains are suddenly overflowing with facts about life and the solution to everything.
The alpha males can go around thumping their chests all they want, but when it's time for them to save a meal or a pair of pants, no amount of muscle will do.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Music Videos In a Digital Era
When I was in my early teens, 13, 14, 15, I used to enjoy watching Much Music (Canada's version of MTV). I like watching the countdown and The Punk Show and The Wedge to catch all the latest and greatest music videos. Back then the station still played predominantly music videos. Unlike now where it's mostly crappy movies and television. Needless to say, I don't watch many music videos anymore as I've found that most of them are awful.
Today I came upon one that was completely opposite of awful. It was spectacularly awesome. So for a little nostalgia, it's here for you to enjoy:
Today I came upon one that was completely opposite of awful. It was spectacularly awesome. So for a little nostalgia, it's here for you to enjoy:
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Synchronicity and The Re-Education of Kyria Round 2
I've been out of university for almost 2 years now and while I've enjoyed the change of pace, I've been continuously disappointed with the lack of job prospects and ongoing boredom. It was never my intention to complete one degree and then jump into another, but since I've been out of school I've put a lot of thought into my future career and what I really want to do. When I started my psychology degree I had no clue where I was going or what I wanted to do. I was interested in the subject, but was pretty directionless in terms of the outcome. It wasn't until halfway through my third year at university that I realized the mistake I had made, I had gone to school for the sake of going to school. The years and years of "get and education and you'll get a good job" pressure had got to me and I caved and went to school to "get a good job" when I was finished, because that's what teachers, parents, authority figures and society tell you.
Twenty years ago a general university degree, even just a BA would likely get you a pretty decent career. In today's society where BAs and the like are so common, it just doesn't cut it anymore. No one told me that. I graduated with stars in my eyes expecting the world to open up for me and come forth with armfuls of spoils for my choosing. It didn't and it hasn't and the last two years have been a struggle. I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to go to school and that I do have a degree, but it's left me just as lost as I was before I began.
I've been going back and forth about what I should do for a while and for the first little bit the thought of going back to school was out of the question. It's too expensive, I'll be too old by the time I graduate again, what would I take that would be better than my first degree, I'd be putting the rest of my life on hold. There were a million things I had to understand and overcome before I could decide what to do, but I've finally made the choice to return to university. Again.
Yes, after all my bitching and moaning about school, I'm doing it again.
But this time it's different. This time it's for me. This time is going to be more of a challenge, but with a much higher payoff. This time I'll come out of it with an extremely useful and practical set of skills and will have very little trouble finding work. I'm terrified, but excited. Even more excited now that I've seen this: http://tech.ca.msn.com/video-games/article/microsoft-opening-game-studio-in-victoria
It's as if the universe is giving me a nod, saying "Yes Kyria, you're making the right choice."
Huge exhale, here we go again!
Twenty years ago a general university degree, even just a BA would likely get you a pretty decent career. In today's society where BAs and the like are so common, it just doesn't cut it anymore. No one told me that. I graduated with stars in my eyes expecting the world to open up for me and come forth with armfuls of spoils for my choosing. It didn't and it hasn't and the last two years have been a struggle. I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to go to school and that I do have a degree, but it's left me just as lost as I was before I began.
I've been going back and forth about what I should do for a while and for the first little bit the thought of going back to school was out of the question. It's too expensive, I'll be too old by the time I graduate again, what would I take that would be better than my first degree, I'd be putting the rest of my life on hold. There were a million things I had to understand and overcome before I could decide what to do, but I've finally made the choice to return to university. Again.
Yes, after all my bitching and moaning about school, I'm doing it again.
But this time it's different. This time it's for me. This time is going to be more of a challenge, but with a much higher payoff. This time I'll come out of it with an extremely useful and practical set of skills and will have very little trouble finding work. I'm terrified, but excited. Even more excited now that I've seen this: http://tech.ca.msn.com/video-games/article/microsoft-opening-game-studio-in-victoria
It's as if the universe is giving me a nod, saying "Yes Kyria, you're making the right choice."
Huge exhale, here we go again!
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