The Fear

I got a pajama shirt for Christmas, on it was written "why can't I have everything?" My mom hadn't read it before she bought it, but the irony of the question was not lost on me given my state of mind as of late. Why can't I have everything? And I don't mean all the trivial possession that I wish I had, instead I wonder why I can't have all the lives I want to live. Why can't I be an author, photographer, performer and psychologist? Whenever I pose this question, I always get the same look, a look that says that I'm insane and those kind of looks are what cause "the fear." This sinking feeling like I have lost my mind, that there isn't enough _____( insert time/money/whatever here) to do all these things! And do you know what ? I don't believe them.

For most of my short adult life, I've been sucked into this black hole of lost time. This black hole of doom makes me feel like I've got a big grandfather clock in my brain that ticks so loud I can hardly stand it. It counts down every second making me feel like I've got to get my life figured out and that if I don't become something significant by the next full moon I'll be screwed! I'll end up being that crazy lady at the grocery store who hasn't washed her hair in weeks and debates a price difference of a couple cents while simultaneously scratching her sweat pant clad ass and snapping a disgusting piece of bubble gum because "GOD DAMIT I'VE GOT MOUTHS TO FEED!" With that frightening thought in mind I've been trying desperately to keep my head above water and work on one thing at at time. It's been frustrating, boring and confusing, because as the clock of doom ticks all I've been able to think is that I want more. I want to do everything. I want to be everything. I want to write for a living. I want to take pictures for a living. I want to pretend for a living. I want to help people for a living.

And I will.




So stfu stupid clock.

Twilight, The Movie

I couldn't help it, I had to see it. After spending precious time that I will never get back reading the god awful series, I needed to see if the film version was any better .... or far worse. Now let me start with the casting, I am not a fan of Kristen Stewart who plays Bella. She spent the entire movie looking so confused, as if everything in her entire trivial life was hard to understand. Bella furrows brow "who ISSSSSS that guy? OMG I don't get thissssss. I'm so confused .... or maybe constipated." Seriously, that is what she looked like the entire movie. Secondly, the vampires all look like they just arrived from the special olympics, no joke, the entire Cullen clan looked as if their mothers partook in some heavy drinking whilst they were in the womb! Not only that, but the special effects were laughable at best! When Edward stepped into the sun his skin sparkled like a gay man's at the disco! And as if the audience needed another reminder that his skin twinkled in the sun, they added the oh so important twinkling sound effect, like in the cartoons.
Every other shot was a close up on someones serious face, which became annoying very quick given the fact that all the actors were trying desperately to be dramatic but failing miserably. Although the story was pretty close to the book a lot of my favourite parts were passed over or altogether forgotten. Jasper's powers weren't mentioned at all and Alice's were underplayed. Instead the movie revolved around the cheesy, desperate and pathetic love story.
Thank god for Robert Pattinson! When he wasn't trying to be so dramatic he actually looked good.


Oh! I almost forgot. Sorry Stephanie Meyers but the only one who pulls off author cameos is Stephen King.

The Difference Between Calgary and Victoria

Snowfall warnings ( I mean like, interupt the news with red banner type of warning):
* In Victoria = 2-5cm expected
* In Calgary= 10-20 cm expected

Idea of cold:
* Victorians= anything below zero
* Calgarians= -30 with a windchill of -40

When it snows and the snow sticks to the ground:
* Victorians= Don't even dare leave the house. The city shuts down; no work, no school and definatley no leaving the house.
* Calgarians= Swear, drink an extra cup of coffee, and leave for school/work/anywhere half an hour early

Driving after it snows:
* Victorians: Drive 20km below a reasonable speed for the conditions.
* Calgarians: Drive 20km over a reasonable speed for the conditions.

These are just a few of the differences I've noticed since moving. Overall it would seem that Victorians are a bunch of wimps :P

I Love this man !

A strange reminder .

One of the burdens of owning a car is having to check the oil on a regular basis. I hate doing it and even though I know I can get the guys at the gas station to do it for me, I like to do it myself. It makes me feel empowered in a bitchen feminist sort of way ! I had been meaning to do it for weeks ( shhh don't tell dad :P) and just kept putting it off, so after spending the day trying to learn an ancient and useless language (latin, ugh) I headed out to make sure everything was good under the hood.
Pull the dipstick out, check, wipe, stick it back in, wipe and check again. Yup it's all good ( yes I'm sure dad ). I'm about to close the hood when I notice something strange sitting on the other side of the engine. What is that? All of sudden I can't control myself I'm laughing so hard. Turns out my father, the father that always harrasses me about checking my oil, had left a screw driver underneath my hood!?!?! That's pretty unlike him but hilarious none the less!

Come to think of it, my brother had helped my dad work on my car! Hmmm Adam, perhaps it was you !